Page 59 of Antichrist


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My aunt was the best role model I could have ever asked for growing up. Canceling out all of the drama with my parents and their death, she dropped her entire life to move to Halsin and raise me. When I find myself in situations, I always draw my strength from her.

What would Aunty do?

It never worked because my aunt was a soft and gentle woman. Her answer would always be to give people the benefit of the doubt. I was stripped of that oddly enough from her death, so now, I find myself asking… what would Ma do?

That answer was always simple. She’d kill everyone and burn cigarette holes into the cock of any man who dare hurt her or the people she cared about. Unfortunately, that’s not something I can do right now, at least not without help.

I push myself up from the bed, looking between the broken door and Lana crying with soft wails on the bed. Blood still smudged her face, her lips, and her clothing. Lana is one of seven Goats, two have died, so now there’s only her and four others. When I first came around and learned of what they did here, I was misguided. Luca and his father had told me they sell babies, it was later that I found out who they sold them to.

This was Lana’s first child, and I could see that after being put through what Luca just did to her, to both of us, she was done. Used goods. Luca wouldn’t want her now, so he would kill her by the end of the night. All of the girls, who are called Anchorites, are brought here from The Island, where they get impregnated, birth the children, and then send them back to the same Island. I don’t know much about what goes on there and Lana doesn’t like to talk about anything, much less that.

I grab her by the hand, helping her to her feet. “I need you to pull yourself together, Lana.”

Her tears have dried on her cheeks, and I lean down and roll up the stale sheet into a ball, being sure to keep the placenta inside so she didn’t have to look at it again.

“No!” Lana says, yanking her hand out of my grip. And then there’s her stubbornness. Her blonde hair flows down her back in sticky strands. She points her finger into my chest with an angry scowl. “I hate you, Meraki. You always failed at getting us out. That Island… they—”

“I’m sorry, Lana!” I grab her by the arms and shake her. “I tried every time, but the forces out there are much larger than little old me. I can take you to safety now though.”

“—bullshit!” Her arms fly up around her body, her eyes wild and hair sticky from sweat.

I started pulling back from the Cathedral when Niko came back because I was afraid he would see me for who I was, an accomplice. Joke was on me because he already knew.

“You left me here to rot, and do you know what they do to the babies on that island, Meraki? Think of the worst possible thing you can think of and it still won’t be bad enough.”

I straighten my shoulders and grab her hand again, squeezing so she pays closer attention to me. “I’m sorry, but right now, I’m getting you out of here.”

“And what about them?” she asks sadly, her head bowing and her shoulders sagging in defeat. “No one ever saves them.”

I blink back the questions I know she thinks I have the answers to. The truth is, I don’t. I don’t have all of the answers that Lana wants because I don’t know everything that people think I know just because of my relationship with Luca.

“Lana, I need you to be a little more patient. I will figure it out. All of you will be out of here.” I stand, turning over my shoulder to see ma soeur in the doorway. “All of you.”

Ma soeur bows her head, her shoulders sagging. “He wants to see you.”

I turn over my shoulder, looking directly at Lana. “Ma soeur will get you ready.” I pat ma soeur’s shoulder on passing, whispering in her ear. “I’m taking her to the compound. Make sure she’s ready in an hour.”

After running a bath and dressing into a tight corset black top and ripped jeans, I find my boots in my wardrobe and start clipping them on as Luca makes his way into the room, removing his tie and throwing it into the corner.

“You owe me for allowing her out.”

My fingers fumble around the buckles, and oh my god, why are there so many fucking buckles? I thought these boots were cute when I bought them; now they’re just a curse.

“I do.” I peer up at him behind my lashes. “And you know I always pay my debts.”

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