Page 80 of Antichrist


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“Ouch.”

The side of his scalp looks deformed as if he’s been hit with a crane. Brain matter that looks disturbingly similar to bread crumbs sticks to his face. How is he even still alive, much less eyes open?

“Enjoy hell.”

I start walking off the podium and head the same way I came when Niko stops me with a single sentence.

“You come back here once you’re done being the hero.”

I turn and look over my shoulder. “I know.” I climb the steps back up to the main area. Ma is no longer where I left her. She’s probably already outside exploring the fucked-up organization that the De’ville family had built.

I pause when I find Ma smoking a cigarette on the steps that lead to the back of the Cathedral, also known as The Delivery. Gross.

“That was quick. Didn’t think you had it in you to kill, but—”

“—I didn’t.” I lower myself down beside her, keeping my eyes on the little houses. “That’s just not me.”

“Good thing you have a big, bad monster to do it for you then, huh?”

I turn to face Ma, studying her features. She looks nothing like Nik or Ari, but that’s only because they took their father’s genes. “You know I’m running, right?”

Ma blows out a cloud of smoke, flicking the ash off the tip. “I wouldn’t advise you to do that, baby girl.”

“Why not?” I snap, for once in my life feeling agitated by her calm tone.

When Niko came back and I found out that she knew where he was all along, I didn’t get upset with her. I knew that she was his mother and with that title, a mother will always protect her cubs first, but I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a pang of deceit. She watched me mourn not just Ari’s death, but Niko’s absence. No matter how difficult our lives were and how much strain both Niko and I put on each other leading up to the day he left, I still felt like I deserved to know something. At the very least to not be stressed about Niko and his safety. He was just shy of turning eighteen. I was scared, lost, angry, sad—all of the emotions all at once. I deserved to know he was at least safe.

“Walk with me,” Jer’s voice echoes from behind me, and I spin around to look between him and Ma.

Ma nods, waving the hand that’s holding a cigarette to the front of her.

“Okay.” I stand and follow him as he struts down the stairs, my anger still lingering.

Jer points to the houses. “You know we took them to the compound the second his pedophile father was killed, right?”

I pause, and it’s not until Jer realizes that I’m not following him when he stops and looks over his shoulder.

“Well, there were only four of them left.”

“They’re damaged, Jer. What if one talks?”

Jer comes closer, his finger curling around the loose strand of my hair. “What they’ve been through all their lives isn’t the norm, baby girl.” He sighs. “Even if by some weird miracle one of them do, they won’t take it far.”

I believe that he believes that.

“I know The Knights have the cops in Halsin in their pocket, but—”

Jeremy shakes his head. “I’m not talking about The Knights, baby girl.”

I tilt my head, crossing my arms in front of myself and doing all of the things I do when I’m feeling exposed. I ate with Luca not only because yes, he was blackmailing me, but also because I always knew what was happening. Who was coming and going and where I sat with him and his father. Your enemy can’t strike you blind if you’re standing directly in front of them.

“What are you talking about?”

“Niko told you about Ghost, but I gather he didn’t tell you the rest, which is cool. That’s to be expected.”

We carry on walking until we get to the first house, Lana’s house. Jer lowers himself onto the step, but I stay standing. I still want to run. I don’t trust Niko anymore. Do I think he will hurt me? Absolutely. The fear I have toward him is intoxicating because not only does it scare me, but it entices me. That same rush I’d get whenever we would mess around when we were younger has come in the form of fear as an adult. I know he feels it too. I feel it any time we touch.

“What else is there to tell me?” I lean against the wooden rail. I love Jer like I do my blood, but I won’t let him pull the wool over my eyes. I’m tired of the men in my life dancing circles around me.

“There’s an issue if I tell you everything.” His eyes drift over my shoulder before coming back to me. “Once I tell you, that little running plan that you had? It won’t be able to happen.”

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