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“That can’t be true,” she says.
I shrug again. “Well, it is.”
“Perhaps she’s not good at expressing herself, or she’s confused by what she feels for you, but I assure you, they exist.”
“It’s too late,” I mutter, my words hitting me hard.
It’s too late.
All I needed was validation that she wanted more.
“I’m gonna run.” I chug the rest of my beer before tossing it into the trash can. “Tell Dad I need to talk when he has some free time.”
She walks over and gives me a hug. “Don’t give up on her just yet, okay? I have a gut feeling about you two.”
I don’t respond because there’s nothing else to say.
“Maybe like you, she’s not good with communication, so you need to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“She screwed Kane,” I blurt out. “Not sure her message gets much louder than that.”
I leave out that she also fucked me at the same time, but I’m too hung up on her wanting to have sex with him to forget about it. The alcohol clouded my judgment, and I should’ve kicked them out as soon as she stripped off their clothes. Stupidly, I was thinking with my dick. Regardless, experiencing that with Hadleigh was special to me, and I don’t regret it. But the realization of this being the end of us sucks.
“I really wish you boys would stop telling me about your activities. I don’t need nor do I want the details.”
“Sorry, but I tried to tell you it was over. And I didn’t give you specifics. I mean, if you want…” I taunt, knowing she’ll get squeamish.
“Go, dammit. You’re too much,” she scolds while grinning. Then she pulls me in for another hug. “Look, I don’t know what happened, and I don’t want to know, but you need to talk to her. Don’t avoid her. Y’all grew up together, and you’ll see her ’round, so it’s best to just get it over with so everyone can move on.”
I nod, then we say our goodbyes, and I leave. I don’t know what Hadleigh’s telling my sister, but I need to put a stop to it. Once I get home, I text her.
Knox: What do you want?
Hadleigh: That’s all I get? Why are you ignoring me?
Knox: I have nothing to say, but since you’re telling Kaitlyn and whoever else our business, figured I’d reach out since my mom’s heard the gossip.
Hadleigh: All I said was you weren’t responding to me. I didn’t imply anything.
Knox: Well, I am now, so spill it.
Hadleigh: We need to talk about Saturday. You left Sunday morning like nothing happened.
Knox: Maybe it shouldn’t have.
Hadleigh: Well it did, and we can’t change it. Why are you mad at me?
Knox: I’m not mad, Hads. I’m just not doing this anymore.
Hadleigh: Doing what?
Knox: This game. I told you to make a decision by the end of the party, and you didn’t. We both fucked you, and now it’s over. If you want Kane, you have my blessing.
Hadleigh: Are you fucking joking right now? You agreed to it! I was waiting for you to stop me or say you didn’t want me to screw him, but you only pouted until you joined us!
Knox: You were seconds away from fucking him on my bed. What’d you expect me to do? Stay and watch?
Hadleigh: Speak up. Fight for me. Show me you were ready for something serious.
Knox: I wanted you to pick me. Tell me you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Say you were mine and admit how you really felt. I shouldn’t have to convince you not to fuck my brother.
Hadleigh: God! You’re impossible! You were all about it and telling me what to do to him. Now you’re backpedaling?
Knox: Yeah, well I’m sober and thinking with a straight mind. At the time, I thought you were gonna tell me you wanted me, but you didn’t. So I’m walking away. It was fun while it lasted. You’re free to do whatever the hell you want now.
Hadleigh: Okay. Wow. Thanks for proving me right.
Knox: About what?
Hadleigh: That you’d be the one to break my heart.
That’s where she’s wrong.
She broke mine.
I never replied to Hadleigh’s last text from a couple of days ago. There’s no use going back and forth. Our issues didn’t matter anymore. I’m not upset with Kane for getting involved. He’s wanted her for so long that there was no way he would deny what she was offering. For the same reason I couldn’t say no either.
But that doesn’t change the fact that she was undecided while we were inside her. Neither of us deserves to get played or be used to fulfill her own personal fantasy. Even if she didn’t mean to, that’s how it feels.
My shitty mood hasn’t changed, though, because Kane and I are still not talking. Not only did I lose a girl I’d been friends with for years but I also lost my brother. Things will never go back to how they were.
