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“You want the truth?” he asked. “The truth is I don’t fuckin’ know. But what I do know is, like you, I don’t want someone takin’ that decision away from us. Forcin’ us into somethin’ neither of us want. That’s why I’m askin’ if a month is enough time.”
“If it isn’t?”
“Then my guess is no time will ever be enough. But it bugs the fuck outta me to betray Trip’s trust like this. And that’s what it is. Am I concerned for myself? Yeah. Am I concerned for you? Of course. But us bein’ together behind Trip’s back, even if it’s just fuckin’…” He shook his head. “It’s the shit the Originals did. Worse, you’re the president’s sister. I might as well walk up to your brother and kick him in the fuckin’ nuts ‘cause just like that, what I’m doin’ to him is a low blow.”
“You weren’t worried about that before.”
“The fuck I wasn’t, Tess. You wouldn’t let me speak. You kept us quiet and in the dark ‘cause that’s where you wanted us to remain. You wanted to convince yourself what we were doin’ wasn’t real. You wanted it to be like we were in some fucked-up little bubble and no one could touch us. But the lights are now on, Tess, and I’m no longer keepin’ quiet. Shit got real. Let’s also not forget that Cage knows.”
“Whip, too.”
“Right. Figured that. He kept sayin’ shit and I kept playin’ fuckin’ dumb but yeah, figured he saw you sneakin’ in or out. You either purposely didn’t tell me or you didn’t know he saw you.”
There was no doubt Whip saw her since she smacked directly into him. It wouldn’t do any good to tell Easy that now.
He continued, thankfully not waiting for her response about Whip. “Yeah, so, if we don’t do shit, if we don’t come forward or we don’t end it, Cage will do it for us. That’s why I’m askin’ if a month is enough time for you.”
“And I’m asking if it’s enough for you.”
“Don’t need a month.”
When she frowned, he used his thumb to smooth away the creases on her forehead, his smile lopsided.
He had to hear or at least feel her pounding heart because, damn it, she had a difficult time hearing him over it. “Why don’t you need a month?”
“‘Cause I already know what I want.”
He couldn’t be serious. This was Easy they were talking about. Easy! It wasn’t possible that he wanted her and only her, was it?
“But if you need it, gonna give it to you. Just remember, every fuckin’ day we put it off is another day we’re takin’ a risk. Prefer we come clean but if you’re not ready, then…”
They needed that month solely due to the fact she wanted him to be sure of his decision before making such a drastic one. She wanted to give him the time to make sure he wasn’t making a mistake. That mistake being her.
Even if at thirty-one he was finally considering taking an ol’ lady—no matter how crazy that sounded for Easy—she was only twenty-two and wasn’t sure if she was ready to become one.
Her uncertainty wasn’t because of him, it was because of her. Because of her own hang-ups and fears. Maybe in a few years, she’d be better prepared to reconsider it. But now? No.
The problem was, if she told him that she didn’t need the month to make her decision, things would end between them. Right here, right now.
She didn’t want that, either. Not yet. As selfish as it was, she wasn’t ready to let him go. She just couldn’t. Even though she knew it was only delaying the pain. “Yes, I need the month.”
“Like I said, gonna give you that, but want one thing from you.”
“A blowjob?”
“Okay, two things from you...”
She rolled her eyes. “What?”
“For you to ride with me on my new sled. Want you as my backpack, Tess. Even in secret.”
“When?”
“One night this week. The rest of the nights you can ride my dick.”
She swallowed her laughter back down before it could escape.
“Wanna hear it.”
“What?”
“Your laugh. You don’t let yourself be happy, Tess.”
I’m afraid if I allow myself to be happy, someone will come along and rip the rug right out from under my feet.
But she couldn’t tell him that. She’d told nobody that. She knew it was a “her” problem created by her upbringing. It wasn’t Easy’s fault.
He wrapped his arms around her, sliding his palms down her back until he was gripping her ass, pulling her closer and the space between them no longer existed.
Taking her mouth, he explored it with his tongue and tilted his hips, pressing his erection against her. His fingers dug into her ass cheeks, squeezing and kneading, and his kiss became consuming.
As if he was trying to swallow her whole.
