Page 3 of Surprise Best Man


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“First is a long, slow, deep tissue massage by one of our expertly skilled massage therapists.”

He led me away from the lobby, a pair of very rich-looking women stepping into the place as we left.

“Right this way. Trust me, Mr. Maddox—you’re in very, very good hands.” A big smile spread across his red face. “Literally.”

I forced a chuckle, wondering how many times he’d used that line. We headed down the white, marble-floored and sculpture-lined hallway, eventually reaching a large door at the end. He pulled it open, revealing a spacious room done up in the same pristine style as the rest of the place, a massage table in the middle and a changing room with a shower to the side.

“OK,” I said. “So, I’m kind of new to all of this. What…what do I do?”

“Simply take a quick shower and lie face-down on the table. Press the button to your right when you’re ready for our massage specialist to come start.”

“Guess I’ll get to it then.” I still hadn’t shaken the feeling that I was out of my element.

“Enjoy!” he said as I stepped into the room, the door softly clicking shut behind me.

I stood in the space for a moment, trying to get my bearings.

“Shower,” I said to no one in particular. “Actually sounds pretty damn nice.”

I stripped down to nothing, stepping past the tall, gold-framed mirror and noting my physique in the reflection.

Not bad. I noted the still-shredded plane of my stomach, my round shoulders, and the notches of my hips. On my upper-right shoulder blade was the single tattoo I had, a black-and-white sketch of the Rock in Morro Bay, the town I hailed from. “Partying like a rock star hasn’t wrecked me too much.”

Now that I was back in LA, I was ready to return to my slightly-more-sane lifestyle of somewhat regular sleep and exercise. Between all the junk I’d been eating and the copious booze, I’d been kind of worried that I’d come out the other side of the tour looking like a bloated toad.

I stepped into the shower and took a quick rinse, the multi-headed shower hitting me from all angles and feeling like total heaven on my skin. Once that was done, I grabbed a towel and dried off before stepping over to the table.

My eyes locked onto the hole at the end. Face goes there, I guess.

I climbed onto the table in a not particularly graceful sort of way and placed my head into the hole. My admittedly sizable dick pressed into the table below, making me almost wish for a second hole for it to hang down.

Once I was in position, I threw the blankets over my ass and kinda laid there for a second. Felt weird, but all right. When I was ready, I reached for the small silver button on my right labeled “call” and gave it a quick press.

Then I waited.

Yeah, it was still weird. Lying there with my face in a face-shaped hole, my naked ass laying under the blanket.

Seconds later, the door opened with a soft click, followed by soft, light footsteps. I glanced over to the side out of instinct, but saw nothing but the side of the face hole. Duh.

As the door shut, I was expecting a nice little “hello,” “good day, Mr. Maddox,” or something like that. What I wasn’t expecting was what came next.

A sharp, shocked gasp.

Then silence.

I was confused.

“Something…wrong?” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“No,” came a voice that was all at once husky and sexual and…familiar. “Nothing at all, Mr. Maddox. How are we doing today?”

It was…weird. Part of me wanted to awkwardly shift my body so I could get a look at this woman, see what the deal was. But the other part of me, the more insistent part, wanted to stay lying there. Once I’d gotten used to the weirdness of the face hole it was actually pretty comfy. So I stayed put, figuring it wasn’t anything worth turning around for.

“Fine, I guess,” I said. “Got to be honest—this is all a little new to me. Little weird, truth be told.”

A few beats of silence passed, more than really should’ve been normal.

“Um, well.” She was trying to play it cool. “That’s very normal. I assume you haven’t had a spa treatment like this before?”

God, her voice sounded so familiar. Why couldn’t I place it?

Again, I wanted to turn. But I felt the woman approach, and she placed one hand gently onto one shoulder blade, then the other. Next came the warm, liquidy feeling of something being poured onto my back. A big, stupid smile spread across my face at the sensation, as she began spreading it around slowly.

Oh man, did it feel good. The second those magic hands started doing their thing on the stiff, sore muscles of my back, whatever apprehensions I’d had about the whole massage thing went right out the window.

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