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“Do you ever wonder…?” Marcus began, then looked at me. “Would we have become friends had it not been for the grief group?”
“Maybe not,” I admitted, my stomach feeling unsettled. “Which sucks because I enjoy our friendship.”
Marcus clinked his glass to mine, then said, “I’d like to think that in the right circumstances, we’d still somehow become friends through some shared experience.”
“Yeah, maybe. We may have both been at the restaurant without knowing it. I might’ve even seen you across the room and thought, That is a very handsome man. I’d like to be friends with him.”
He laughed. “Are you trying to say you find me attractive?”
“Sure. Why not? I find a lot of people attractive.”
Our eyes met, and there was this bright energy there—that was the only way to describe it. It made my pulse tick up in a throbbing tempo.
“I find you attractive too,” Marcus said, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat.
“Why, thank you.” I lifted my hand and started fanning myself, my skin feeling on fire. “Did someone raise the temperature out here?”
“This is the perfect opportunity for one of your corny jokes. The ones you use to change the subject or lighten the mood.”
Well, damn. “Busted.”
12
Marcus
“How about we head inside?” I said because the conversation had gotten a bit…heavy and personal and heated. I didn’t know why I liked hearing he found me appealing, but I did, and that was dangerous territory, mostly because he’d placed strict parameters around his needs. Not that being attracted to someone meant that it had to lead someplace else, only that I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable about his admission. Feeling attractive would be a good boost of confidence for anyone, period.
“Good idea,” he slurred as he stood with his glass, then reached for the half-empty bottle.
As he lumbered through the door, I trailed behind him, making sure he didn’t bump into anything. In the living room, he sank down on the couch and patted the seat beside him. I probably should’ve taken off by now since this visit had only been on a whim, but I was enjoying his company, and going home to an empty house wasn’t so enticing right then.
So I took a load off and talked about random shit with him for a bit longer.
Besides, Delaney was tipsy, and it might be a good idea to keep an eye on him. He’d made some unexpected admissions that completely threw me for a loop, and I needed to tread carefully so he didn’t have any regrets. It was important he felt safe enough to express himself, especially since he tried to hold it together around Grant like most parents probably did. Getting those feelings out was healthy and helped with the grieving process, as I’d come to learn. Not that he was done suffering—and his heart might feel as irreparable as mine—but milestones were important. It meant there was a path forward to a new sort of normal.
“What time is it?” he asked, sitting straighter as if he’d get in trouble for slouching. “I should probably check on Grant.”
“I thought you said he was at Ellie’s house,” I replied, noting how freaked he looked. Was it because of the drinking or because he’d let it all hang out? “Does she live around here?”
“Yeah, but earlier…” He glanced toward the window, then allowed his shoulders to unwind again. “I said the wrong thing to Grant before he left, and we got in an argument.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” I hated that he tensed up so much when he was in parent mode, seeming so unsure of himself.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I suck at this on my own.” He sighed. “Rebecca always knew how to level with Grant, to appeal to his sweeter side. She was the perfect buffer between us.”
I’d noticed some tension between Grant and Delaney during my last visit, but I thought it was normal teen stuff. When Aaron came to live with us, he would get mouthy sometimes about our curfew or rules, but in the end, he knew we were right.
Still, what did I know? That was only one year of my life. This was an entire lifetime. I couldn’t begin to imagine.
I wondered if I should stop him from having one more sip, but I also thought it was okay to get shit-faced every now and again as long as someone was there to keep you safe. Hell, I’d even wait up for Grant if he passed out and I needed to help him to bed. Grant would have to understand.
Suddenly Ruby was there, sniffing at Delaney’s hands, and I knew animals could sense when people were upset.
“It’s okay, girl,” he said, petting her. “I’m just being emotional.”
Once she seemed satisfied that he wasn’t dying, she lay down by the fireplace. I felt a pang in my gut, wondering if I shouldn’t get a dog or a cat to keep me company. We always thought we were too busy and didn’t want to have to leave an animal alone all day. I spent late hours at the store some nights, and Carmen had a busy job as a consultant in the IT industry. Which meant she traveled as well, and damn, just thinking about seeing her tired smile after a long trip made my chest ache. After she died, some nights I pretended she was on the road and would come rushing through the door any minute.
