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“Suppose so.” And because it’s you—your warmth and scent and how they put me at ease.
“What else do you miss about having close contact with someone?” Marcus asked.
“I don’t know. Everything, I guess. Even the intimacy from a simple kiss.”
“Yeah, I hear you.” His arms tightened briefly. “After being married so long, you tend to take those things for granted.”
“It’s true,” I replied. “You can fall into the trap of being too tired or busy. Carving out time is crucial.”
“I never want to take it for granted again.” He sighed. “I can still remember how exciting that first kiss was.”
“I remember too.” We’d gone to a movie, where we’d held hands the entire time, and as soon as we got outside to the car, it was hard to hold back after so much anticipation.
“You’ll have that again someday…with someone new.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to kiss just anyone.” It was so much easier to say these things with my head buried in his shoulder and not looking him in the eye. “It means even more to me now—who I allow close. Does that make sense?”
“Definitely. But it’s also okay to simply crave touch and close contact, even if it’s only for one night. Neither way is invalid.”
“Agree. No shame at all.” When my phone buzzed with a text, I stiffened. “It might be Grant.”
When he let me go, I instantly missed the contact.
I sat up and reached for my phone, noting the time.
The movie is about to start. I’ll be home by curfew.
Thanks for letting me know.
The moment between us seemed over, and to avoid any awkwardness, I reached for our plates. “Let me clear these dishes.”
I breathed out when I got to the kitchen, reminding myself that what we were doing didn’t have to change anything. That first time certainly hadn’t.
As I headed back to the living room, I heard his laughter ring out, and soon enough, I saw why. Ruby had not only jumped onto the couch but had toppled Marcus and positioned her front paws on his chest, straddling him as she licked his cheek.
“Ruby.”
“It’s cool,” he said with a bright smile that instantly warmed my stomach. “She’s a good girl. Probably smells our dinner.”
“You silly dog,” I said, reaching for her collar and helping her down from the couch and to her pillow in the corner of the room.
Marcus was still lying prone, and I allowed my gaze to slide over him, enjoying the view. The sliver of bronzed skin between his waistband and shirt was enticing all on its own, but it was the bulge in his pants that kept me riveted—and wondering so many things. Wanting too. My pulse spiked when I felt his penetrating gaze roaming over me as well.
“I bet it’s nice to sleep with an animal,” he rasped out. “Lying beside something alive and warm.”
The words felt too fresh, the deep ache almost visceral as I rubbed at a spot on my chest.
“It definitely is. Ruby takes turns between my bed and Grant’s.” My voice sounded hoarse as I attempted to thwart the image of Marcus feeling so utterly lonely. “Um, let me grab the remote. Maybe we can—”
“Wait.” When his rough fingers curled against my wrist, my breath caught, the rawer emotions coiling around my lungs. “Would it be too much to ask if you’d…lie with me for a bit?”
“It wouldn’t be too much. I’d like that.” His eyes softened a fraction. Fuck, my heart was pounding. “But…do you think it’s a good idea?”
“It’s whatever we want it to be. No judgment here, remember?” His expression morphed as he looked away. He was just as vulnerable, just as afraid. But I also detected a spike of anticipation, as well as desire, which was flattering, quite honestly. Unless I was mistaken. It had been so long. “It’s just you and me,” Marcus said. “Two friends who’ve been through a lot.”
Right then, I wanted to wipe all his doubt away. To let him know he wasn’t alone. That’s what he’d done for me—provided me moments of peace where, for a time, I could forget myself and all that’d happened. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. To have found such a good friend.
And friends did this for each other, didn’t they?
He shuffled over to lie on his side so that when I slid down on the couch, we were facing each other. It was a tight fit, and I almost joked about it, but he looked so serious.
“Fuck, thanks,” he said, and we were so close, I could feel his breath against my cheek. “I needed this.”
“To feel connected to someone?” I asked, and he nodded. “Yeah, me too. I mean, I already feel close to you, but this is a whole other level.”
“Okay, less talking, more hugging,” he said, likely to get me out of my own head.
