Page 60 of Incandescent


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“You all right?” Marcus asked when the room grew quiet.

“Yeah, of course. He’s still mad I grounded him over curfew,” I replied in a steady tone as if this sort of friction didn’t keep me up at night. “He always thinks I’m too hard on him.”

“Don’t all teens think that about their parents?” he mused.

“Probably.” I blew out a breath. I reminded myself that my father could be brutal with his words, so I tried to tiptoe around Grant as much as I could. At least Grant didn’t mince words. “Soon enough, he’ll get distracted by his computer game, and all will be momentarily forgotten.”

“Speaking of which,” Marcus said as he replaced the lid on the paint can, “Grant mentioned some of the games you used to play on your Xbox, which has apparently been neglected lately.”

“True,” I replied, wondering what had brought that on. I used to blow off steam after work sometimes, but Grant was right. I hadn’t picked up a controller since Rebecca passed.

“Is that something you and Grant used to do together?” he asked as he washed his hands at the sink.

“Rarely. Grant loves strategy games, and I’m only good at first-person shooter.”

“You’re good, huh?” He motioned toward the living room. “C’mon, let me introduce you to my skills in Mortal Kombat.”

“Ooh, old-school,” I said, following him. I had to dig out the controllers and dust them off before we got settled on the rug in front of the screen. Ruby sniffed curiously around us before curling near Marcus, who was giving her plenty of attention. Traitor.

Soon enough, we got lost in slashing each other’s characters with swords and daggers as they died in outlandish ways. We laughed our asses off at the cartoonish amount of blood the game produced as we each tried to get the upper hand. But Marcus was definitely better at it. The bastard.

I startled when I heard Grant chuckle from the doorway.

“Want to play the winner, Grant?” Marcus asked. “Which will obviously be me.”

“So humble,” I replied, then held my breath, expecting the same excuses Grant always lobbed at me. I even tried to play in his Minecraft world for a few weeks, hoping it would be something that bonded us, but it was short-lived.

“Sure,” Grant replied, and I felt a stab of envy that Marcus had more rapport with my own child than me. But I also felt grateful that he provided us a neutral zone where I was able to interact with Grant through a different lens.

Of course, Marcus beat me and then Grant in turn, but at least there was a lot of laughter in the process.

“I’m sorry you ditched your friends only to get spanked by me,” Marcus said after winning for the umpteenth time. He lifted his arm and pretended to show off his guns while Grant and I rolled our eyes and laughed.

“You dork,” Grant said. “Actually, Ellie’s parents are making her study for her SATs. Her brother goes to Franklin U in California, and she might apply there too.”

The mood in the room shifted when Marcus asked, “What about you?”

“I, uh…” Grant looked at me, then away. “There are a couple of local colleges I’ll be considering.”

“Only local?” Marcus was asking the sensitive question I couldn’t easily navigate with my son, and he was getting away with it. So I held my breath and focused on the screen instead of on Grant. Though I could certainly feel the heat of his gaze.

“For now,” Grant replied. “Sticking around here feels less…” He trailed off and looked away.

“Scary, overwhelming?” Marcus asked, and my stomach constricted painfully. “Safer?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I get it. I’d probably do the same,” Marcus said, petting Ruby, who was practically lying in his lap now. “Though I might consider a tour of at least one far-away campus just so I could visit someplace cool.”

“You would?” Grant asked. “Is that because you like to travel?”

Marcus smiled. “I haven’t done it enough, but heck yeah.”

“I heard NYU was cool,” Grant said with a shrug, and I suddenly recalled our conversation about the subway and his driving lessons. “That’s where my mom went to school.”

I wanted to add my two cents but was afraid the conversation would sour with my input. I’d sat through the parent night at school where they’d provided us deadline dates, but anytime I’d brought up college visits in the last couple of weeks, he’d shrugged me off.

“What do you think, Lane?” Marcus asked, prompting me to say something.

I cleared my throat. “I think Rebecca would love the idea of Grant visiting her alma mater. We discussed it a couple of times.”

“You did?” Grant asked, his eyes widened in wonder, and I had the urge to hug him. I refrained, unsure if it would be reciprocated. More so, I would only embarrass him.

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