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Grant blinked repeatedly, his emotions so close to the surface since Ruby’s accident.
“And we were happy—even more so when Grant came along.”
Donna grinned at Grant, likely remembering how excited Rebecca had been to find out she was pregnant with him.
“Even though I almost caused her to die?” Grant asked in a blubbery voice, and my chest seized. Fuck, how long had he been carrying that around?
“Are you kidding me? Neither of us would’ve traded you for the world. You taught us that love was deeper and more complex than we’d ever imagined. You were her favorite human, her greatest accomplishment.” When I reached for Grant’s hand, he didn’t pull away, only tightened his grip. “So don’t think for one minute that she regretted anything, okay?”
He nodded, his eyes shiny and wide. Donna was wiping her cheeks with her forearm, and Howard kept clearing his throat.
I took a deep breath, my heart trembling, but I needed to push through.
“After Rebecca passed, I didn’t think I had it in me to go on…I felt so empty…and lost,” I admitted, and I heard a sob catch in Grant’s throat. “But Grant got me through. And so did you.”
“You got us through as well,” Donna said, and Howard nodded.
“Sometimes you meet a person, and it feels like you’ve known them forever. With Rebecca, it was immediate, like I was thunderstruck.” I pushed the rest of the words from my lips before I chickened out. “With Marc, it was like a gradual, smoldering flame. His friendship has gotten me through some of my worst moments, and I’ll always think he’s special.” I rubbed at the stitch in my chest. “Do you know what I mean?”
Grant was completely still beside me as Donna said, “I think I do. Your connection is hard to miss.”
When our eyes met across the room, I could see the understanding shining in her eyes, along with a thread of melancholy I knew only too well. She’d obviously already been putting the pieces together in her head, and I just gave her the extra push she needed to draw her conclusion that Marcus meant a hell of a lot to me.
“Like I said before, we need to find happiness wherever we can.” Her smile was a bit sad. “In the end, it’s someone’s soul we’re connecting with.”
“Why are we speaking in riddles?” Howard grumbled, and I would’ve laughed had my heart not been lodged in my throat.
“I think it’s time to get you home.” Donna stood unsteadily, then walked over to her husband. “These boys have things they need to take care of, and it’s better if we left them to it.”
Howard let Donna help him up, even though he kept throwing us quizzical looks. Grant stayed put on the couch, as if in a daze, as I walked them to the door.
Donna pulled me into a hug, then whispered in my ear, “You’re a good father, and you were a wonderful husband. Rebecca loved you so much and would want you to be happy. We’ll have more time for a heart-to-heart about this later. For now, there’s a kid who needs his dad.”
“Thank you,” I replied in a watery voice. “For everything.”
After I closed the door behind them, I turned to see Grant watching me closely.
“Dad?” he asked warily as I sat back down beside him, ready to get on with it.
“When I was a kid, my first crush was on a boy,” I said, and Grant covered his mouth with his hand. “It was confusing, especially since I went on to crush on girls too.”
“Are you saying you’re pan or bisexual?” he asked, and I nodded.
“Your generation is much savvier and more open. We didn’t really have those kinds of labels back then. I thought maybe I was just going through an experimental phase, so I kept it to myself and never brought it up again, not even with your mother.” I balled my fist. “My father would’ve never been accepting enough to have that kind of conversation, and I suppose that sort of set the tone for me.”
Grant winced. “He probably would’ve said something homophobic or insensitive.”
“Yeah, unfortunately.” I frowned. “He doesn’t make it easy, and I vowed to never be like him. To never create an atmosphere where my kid couldn’t seek my advice or tell me important things. I’m sorry if you’ve felt something different from me.”
“No, Dad. I’ll admit, sometimes I didn’t want you to worry.” His gaze connected with mine, and his eyes softened. “And for the record, I never wished for it to be you…instead of Mom.”
“How did you…?” Know my deepest, darkest fear? I swiped at my eyes, not sure when I’d even started crying. “Well, fuck.”
“Language,” he said teasingly, and I chuckled. “We might butt heads a lot, but I would’ve been devastated whether it was you or Mom. I wouldn’t trade you for the world either.”
