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He demonstrates, breathing in and out with me as I grip his hand for support and comfort. I squeeze as hard as I can, trying to focus on the warmth of his palm. If I hurt him, Nate doesn’t let me see.
“Concentrate, Eve. You’re doing great.”
Sweat drenches my forehead. The pain radiating from my core is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve had my fair share of painful period cramps, but this? I can’t even quantify how many times more awful it is. The muscles in my back are tense to the point of snapping. A thousand dull knives stab my gut. Every inch of my body burns as fire fills my blood.
“What do we do?” I ask, frantic. The back of my throat is so dry it feels like sandpaper. “He’s early. Why’s he early?”
“Eve, I need you to relax. I’ve got you. It’s going to be fine.”
“We need to get to a hospital. What if he—” I can’t finish my sentence. A massive contraction knocks the air right out of me.
A scream rips itself from my throat. I’ve broken toes before. I’ve had terrifying falls. I’ve danced through splintering shins and cracked toenails and got through the day with sore muscles, but this is a different ballpark. Someone’s ignited a fire inside me. It burns so hot that I somehow feel cold. It’s like hunger pains, an aching back, and explosive gas all at once.
I don’t know what to concentrate on. No matter how I sit, I’m uncomfortable.
Mrs. McBrindle rushes into the room, phone in hand. Her hair’s all frazzled, like a spiky cloud about her head. “They’re coming,” she informs us. “I’ve called. What in Heaven’s name—” She takes one look at me and stops. “Oh. Oh, goodness.”
“How long are they going to be?” Nate asks, curt and to the point.
“I’m not sure. They said they’ve dispatched an ambulance, and it’s on its way. But it rained last night, so there might be ice on the roads.”
Nate takes over, parting my legs to inspect me. I’m in an oversized nightgown because little else fits me these days. It’s an easy enough task for him to pull my underwear off to get a closer look. I don’t like the way his eyebrows pull together into a steep frown. “Shit,” he says under his breath.
“What?” I demand. “What’s wrong?”
“We can’t wait for the ambulance.”
“What?”
“I’d say you’re at six or seven centimeters. You’re dilating quickly, though.”
“What does that even mean?” I’ve read the pregnancy books, but my mind’s a blank now that it’s happening.
Nate looks up at me. It astounds me how professional he looks. In a way, it’s reassuring. I really am in good hands. Nevertheless, my heart’s drumming and my lungs burn. I’m unable to hear my own thoughts because the effort it takes to relax and remain calm is overpowering. I’m clenching my jaw so hard that it leaves my ears ringing. There’s a growing pressure behind my eyes, I can feel my pulse in my temples, and all I want to do is scream and cry until my voice is hoarse.
“It means the baby’s coming. We have to deliver here.” He turns to Mrs. McBrindle. “I need clean towels and hot water that’s been brought to boil. Now.”
“Right away, right away,” she says as she scurries away to fetch everything.
“Nate,” I pant. “Nate, I’m scared.”
“I know it’s scary, sweetheart, but everything’s going to be fine.”
“Do you even know how to deliver a baby? You’re not that kind of doctor.”
“I delivered a couple of babies as a med student. It’s going to be fine.”
“Nate,” I bite out in a semi-scream. I grip the sheets and hold on for dear life. “Oh god, this hurts.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know.”
“No, you don’t,” I snap at the top of my lungs. I don’t mean to. The pain just brings the frustration right up to the surface, and I can’t filter my thoughts. “Sorry,” I mumble pathetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay, Eve. You can yell at me all you want. Scream at me if it makes you feel better. I won’t take it personally.”
A pained groan rushes from my throat. I’m not actually angry. It’s just that I’m so unbelievably overwhelmed by the heat of my body, the throbbing of my muscles, the aching in my joints that all I can do is yell. Poor Nate just happens to be here, caught between a rock and the string of curses rolling off my tongue.
Mrs. McBrindle comes back—at some point, I seriously have no idea when—with everything Nate asked her for. She looks nervous, face pale and eyes impossibly wide. It does little to settle my nerves.
“Can’t I push yet?” I whimper. The soreness in my back trails all the way up my spine and settles in my neck, my muscles locked so tight it gives me a headache.
