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Finally, I rolled to the side and sighed heavily. “That was incredible.”
“Let’s do it again,” she replied, pulling me back into a kiss.
“I’m not seventeen anymore, Rain. It might be a little while,” I laughed.
“I’ll wait,” she cooed.
I laughed and stood up, gathering my clothes from the floor and looking down at her naked body, sprawled across the bed. I felt a surge and realized it might not be as long as I thought before I was ready for round two.
“I’m going to put my clothes in the dryer so I have something to wear home later, if that’s OK,” I told her.
“Of course. I trust you know where it is,” she said.
“I do. Be right back.”
I took my things to the laundry room, emptying the pockets of my wallet, phone, and keys and dropping those and the belt on top of the dryer and putting the rest in to dry. I stood there for a moment, contemplating what had just happened, and wondered why I felt so scared. It was what I had wanted, and there was no doubt it was what she wanted. In fact, we both wanted more, but I felt terrified nonetheless. Shaking it off, I returned to the bedroom to find her waiting for me, now under the covers and sound asleep. I chuckled and climbed into bed beside her, dozing off for a while myself.
When I awoke, it was late in the day, and she was draped lazily across me with one arm and leg, her head on my shoulder. Just watching her was a huge turn-on. It was time for that second round she had suggested.
This time, there was nothing sweet or slow about it. We were like a pair of wild animals in heat, slamming together in a heated carnal dance that ended with a symphony of ecstasy as we shattered against one another once again. We drifted back off to sleep, but eventually woke up again, both of us starving. There were still tons of food in the kitchen from well-wishers who had brought by plates. We sat wrapped in blankets at the table and ate a weird assortment of cold fried chicken, coleslaw, deviled eggs, and pie before watching a bit of TV curled up against one another and then climbing back into bed to explore one another further and sleep off the emotional drain of the days’ events. I should have been on top of the world, but somehow I felt only angst.
As the sun began to rise, I knew I needed to get out of there, to clear my head. I took a last look at Rain, still sleeping peacefully on the pillow next to me. She was beautiful, her small frame settled into the sheets beside me. I climbed quietly out from beneath the covers and made my way to the laundry room where I put on my now-dry clothes. I slipped out the front door and made my way over to the house next door to make some notes while waiting on a buddy I had texted to pick me up and take me back to my own car.
Thoughts of Rain consumed me. Being with her had been everything I had thought it would be if I ever had a chance to touch her again, but it also made me realize just how far from whole I was. I had nothing to offer her. Sure, I had a great business and could offer her stability, at least for right now.
Though I had been successful, the truth was that flipping houses only worked for you if you put work back into it. Most of the work I did myself, and thus, it was only as stable as I was. What if I fell down that rabbit hole again? It was the bane of my existence, knowing that anything could set me off and I could find myself in a ditch I might not be able to climb back out of.
The last time I had lost control, I had ended up at rock bottom, doing a six-month stint in a county jail halfway across the country for a crime I couldn’t completely remember. I didn’t know when I lost control of my drug habit, but I knew precisely when it had started. Even now, the memory of it was clear. It was the night of our big game against the Moseley Bears and everyone was in the locker room getting changed to go home when Jon Fitzgerald, our star linebacker, sat down beside me to put on his shoes.
“You coming over to my place after the game?” he asked.
“I can’t, man. I’m exhausted.” We’d practiced every day that week, and with school and working part-time down at the lumberyard, I was whooped.
“Come on, Jon. You can’t miss the party. We’re celebrating!”
