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It wasn’t like me at all to flee from a hot and obviously interested woman, but I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. What had Rain done to me? The truth was that she had done what she’d been doing for years, holding all my attention for herself. I wished I could let her go, but I had never been able to do that, so why would I start now? Still, it didn’t change anything if I only drove her away.
Back at home, I sat at the kitchen table, sharing my food with my two cats like an old maid. What would the guys at Muskrat Creek High think of me if they could see me like this? Their star quarterback reduced to a lovesick putz who found comfort in building model kits and talking to cats that, thankfully, never spoke back.
11
Rain
“I just don’t know about all this, Rain. It’s going to be awkward.” Shaun said as we sat sipping wine and waiting for our dinner at a little bistro near the clinic.
He tapped his fingers on the side of his glass in his usual annoying way. I used to find it quirky, befitting the spectacled student I’d met in college. His unassuming brown hair and brown eyes had somehow made him seem grounded, responsible. I had been wrong about him.
“We’ll hardly see one another, Shaun. Your office is on one end of the clinic, and mine is on the opposite side. We have separate patients and exam areas.”
“Still, the way you left things. It’s going to be hard to see you even in small doses.”
“Are you serious right now, Shaun? You cheated on me, not once, but several times with several different people.”
“I know, but it wasn’t my fault. Not entirely.”
“Listen, I’m not about to sit here and argue with you about that anymore. It’s over and done with. Our only connection now is the clinic. We’ve both invested a lot in it.”
“What happens when one of us moves on and whoever we’re seeing doesn’t appreciate the fact that we spend so much time with our ex?”
“I’m going to assume that isn’t hypothetical and you are already seeing someone who doesn’t like it, which is typical. Why did you call and threaten me if you didn’t want me coming back?”
“I’m just saying that maybe we need to rethink it.”
“No. You’re saying that you’d hoped I would just cave in and sell my portion to you, but you couldn’t demand that. I just caught you off guard by turning up to take back over my half.”
“If that’s what you think,” he said, rolling his eyes.
It was, I could tell. He’d never admit I was right, but anytime I was, he would always react this way. Unfortunately, I couldn’t say he was wrong this time. Perhaps I should just sell to him and get on with my life. Maybe I didn’t belong here or in Muskrat Creek. For a moment, I considered that I might be better off selling Grandma’s estate and just losing myself someplace far away from my hometown and Los Angeles, but I knew I would never do it. The memories here were best forgotten, but the ones I made growing up in Muskrat Creek with my parents and my grandmother were a part of me I never wanted to lose.
Then, despite my best efforts, there was Jon. He had always been a ghost for me, even when I wanted desperately for him not to be. I was no longer that scared teenager in the back of the quarterback’s car, but even back then, I had known he was someone I could never keep. He was a god at school and I was no one, just some nerd who sat at the front of the class and raised my hand too often. I had never dreamed he would be interested in me. He went to parties and escorted the local debutantes to their balls and cotillions. I collected leaves in a notebook to remind me of how it smelled when I used to go for walks with my folks.
All that had changed one day as I sat with my nose in a book at the library. Jon sat at a nearby table with his football buddies playing some paper football game. That paper football changed everything when it landed squarely on the page I had open. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just tossed it back and smiled. Much to my surprise, he smiled back, a look on his face that melted my heart, but I thought I was probably just imagining things if I thought it meant anything to him. I went back to reading, willing myself not to look back up at him.
“Hi,” a voice said, and I jumped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
