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“I’m sorry, Raintree. I didn’t review your test results until today. You’re healthy, other than the ankle, and I didn’t really expect to see anything unusual. I apologize. I’m guessing this is a shock to you.”
“But I’m on the pill.”
“These things can still happen.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I muttered sarcastically.
I left the clinic in a state of disbelief, trying to remain calm as I went through the motions of lunch and small talk with Becky. I wanted to tell her, but I just wasn’t ready to say it aloud just yet.
Back at home, I shook all over as I contemplated what this would mean, for me, for Jon, for our lives as we moved forward. I weighed my options. I could put things here on hold. I had the equipment and makings of a business but no patients yet. Jon and I hadn’t even really made up yet. I didn’t know that things would work out between us. Maybe I should just give up on this place, sell everything, and move back to the city. I could raise the baby alone and never burden Jon with it.
The more I thought about it, the less good of an idea it seemed. I didn’t want to leave Jon. I wanted to be with him like I’d never wanted anyone in my life, but could I trust my own judgment? I mean, it hadn’t been that long ago that I wanted to marry Shaun, and look how that had turned out. Everything about him had been wrong. Now, I was looking at having a baby with a man I seemed to run away from more than I ran to. Maybe I was just caught up here in old memories and his country charm.
I couldn’t be happy because I was afraid to relinquish even the slightest bit of control to someone else. The moment I felt I wasn’t on top of things, I ran away. It made no sense and complete sense. I was running away from Jon like he once ran away from me. That was my mistake.
My real problem wasn’t Jon. It was me. It was my own fear. I had been ready to marry Shaun and had realized almost too late it was a mistake. Why was I so afraid of being with him? It made no sense. I should be turning to him, not away.
A movement outside the window caught my eye. It was Jon’s truck next door. I took a deep breath and began limping toward the front door, glad to see that the rain had stopped and the skies were clearing. Jon stepped out on the porch and saw me, smiling.
“Don’t come out in the wet. I’m just dropping some stuff off in the house, and I’ll be right over,” he called out.
I nodded and stood still, waiting.
27
Jon
I was surprised to see Rain out and about, obviously still limping, but I knew by now that she was as stubborn as the day was long. I unloaded the last of the wooden flooring I had picked up at the hardware store while I was there buying stuff to fix my own house and then headed toward her. Now that the storm was passed, I could let things dry up a bit before tackling my wrecked kitchen. I’d have to wait for the insurance adjuster to look at it before I did anything anyway, and there was so much damage in the county that it might take him a few days to get to mine.
Now, I could turn my attention to the thing I really wanted to think about: Rain the woman, not the rain flooding my house. She looked beautiful, even on crutches, as she stood waiting for me. She’d been so patient the last few days—heck, the last sixteen years—and I wanted nothing more than to make things right with her. If all went well, I was prepared to do the one thing I had been wanting to do since I had picked up the ring from Betty Sue. Of course, discussions with Rain had a habit of going off the rails. No matter how hard I tried, I always said and did the wrong things. Today, I was determined to keep things under control and not sugarcoat anything. I’d tell her everything and just see where having all my cards out on the table led us.
“Let’s get you inside and off that ankle,” I said as soon as I arrived on the front porch, walking her back inside and getting her situated on the sofa with her foot propped up on a nearby footstool.
“Do we have time to talk now?”
“Yes. I’m sorry that we haven’t already. I’ve been aching to sit here and sort everything out once and for all, so if you’ll let me, I’d like to just tell you everything I think you need to know, and then we can take it from there. Is that OK?”
