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“Is that how you always get ahead? Let men think they can have you. Like you did to me.”
I felt sick inside. “You’re the one that offered the money to marry you.”
“Just like he offered an internship recommendation.”
My heart cracked open. “You’re no different.”
“Don’t you dare compare me to him, Sara.”
I lifted my head and looked at him. “You think I used some sort of voodoo hypnotic seduction to get you to offer me money to have your baby. I probably knew your father took away your inheritance. God, if I was as smart and cunning and willing to be a bitch, I’d have been living the good life long before this.” I rested my head on the window again. “I’ll remind you, too, that I was a virgin and once again, you’re accusing me of being a whore.” I should get out of this marriage now. Maybe I wasn’t pregnant and I could just leave.
“Fuck.” He growled. We rode in silence for a while. “The thought of that man touching you makes me sick.”
“The fact that you think that happened makes me sick.”
“I’m sorry, Sara.”
I didn’t respond.
“I’m an asshole.”
You got that right.
He sighed. “Sara, please. Look at me. I’m trying to apologize and grovel.”
I couldn’t stop the slight twitch of my lips upward. I lifted my head and looked at him.
“I’m sorry. Christ, I’m so sorry.” He dragged his hands through his hair. “You’re right about it all. I can see that men don’t really see you. I keep thinking I’m better than that, but I fail.” He leaned closer to me. “I do see you Sara. I see that you’re smart and brave. I see your fight to be seen, and I’m sorry I fucked up. I just… the thought of you with another man ties me up inside. I wanted to kill your professor. Hell, I wanted to kill Kade the other day for the way he looked and talked about you.”
“And yet you did it too when you believed I could be like that.”
“I don’t believe it.”
I quirked a brow.
“My jealousy got the best of me, honey.”
He was jealous? And did he just call me honey?
I studied him. “Do you believe you’re the only man I’ve ever been with?”
“Yes. And I regret that I didn’t treat your virginity with more care. You gave me a gift, Sara, and I haven’t adequately acknowledged that. I didn’t deserve it.”
“Sometimes I think you’re right about that.”
He gave me a wan smile. “I want to make it up to you. The truth is, I do respect and admire you. I don’t know your history, but I’m guessing it was difficult, especially if was filled with men like your professor and your ex. It kills me to think I’ve done anything like them.”
“You’re not all bad. They are.” I felt my effort to stay angry at him waver at the sincerity in his eyes.
“I won’t let him hurt you. None of them will hurt you, I promise.” He took my hand in his. “I won’t hurt you either, Sara.”
“Do you know why I gave you my virginity?”
He shook his head.
“It wasn’t because I saw you as my way out or a way to get money.”
He simply waited for me to continue.
“I was attracted to you for one, and I could tell you were attracted to me too.”
He looked down, like he was ashamed.
I reached over and lifted his chin so he could look at me. “But you didn’t try to use that to get something from me. I know it’s crazy to say considering where we are now, but I never felt like you were going to try to extort favors.”
“I kissed you in the office.”
I smiled. “But you felt bad about it. You knew you crossed the line. Do you think the professor cares that he crossed the line?”
“No.”
“I also gave you my body because you were the only one who ever made me want to. No other man has made me feel hot and needy.”
“Your ex?”
“Not even him.”
He smiled, and I saw a tinge of smug pride.
“Don’t let it go to your head, Chase.”
“No, of course not,” he said, trying to hide his smile.
I leaned forward and kissed him.
He groaned and pulled me into his lap. “Sara.” His deepened the kiss and then he pulled back. “Jesus, I want to touch you, but am afraid it’s wrong.”
I smiled, looping my arms around his neck. “That’s what makes you different. You consider my feelings or whether it’s appropriate.”
“I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel obligated.” Then he swore, “I’m paying you money to be my wife, of course you feel obligated.”
I put my finger over his lips. “I don’t. If I said no, you’d respect that.”
I could see that on deeper reflection, our situation was bothering him.
“Chase, right now, your touching me would be completely appropriate and would make me happy.” To make sure he understood, I wiggled my ass over his dick, smiling as I felt it respond.
