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“I love those,” Manu grinned at her around a mouthful of grilled pineapple. Stella smiled back affectionately. He was like a big puppy, all eyes, teeth and stomach. Glancing around the room, she caught sight of Aleki, deep in conversation with the Tongan princess. Her amusement evaporated as she watched him gesticulate. He hadn’t even noticed she was gone. Unease built further, starting in her stomach and reaching up into her chest.
Is this what it’s going to be like? Hanging out at the buffet watching other people mingle? I could get that by staying in New Zealand planning other people’s weddings.
“Hey.” A soft touch on her elbow made her jump.
Manu smiled at her gently. “You want to dance?”
Stella nodded, trying to push away the misery at the edges of her consciousness. Aleki’s words came back to her.
It is essential that we present ourselves well tonight.
Realistically, she knew that hiding in the bathroom was not the way to show the gathered dignitaries that they were a strong unit. And if Aleki was too busy to dance with her, she would certainly accept the offer from someone else. The art of dance in Polynesia was highly regarded, and the best way for her to show her eagerness to embrace her baby’s culture was to start assimilating as quickly as possible.
They were almost at the dancefloor when Tama intercepted them.
“Manu.”
“Father.” Manu inclined his head.
The king’s eyes skipped over her. “Ms Warren.” The greeting was lackluster, but in English.
She bowed. “King Tama.” She switched to Avalian. “Thank you for your hospitality.”
Tama’s eyes darted back to her, shrewd and assessing. He nodded briefly, then said something she couldn’t understand in Avalian to Manu and walked away. They carried on to the dancefloor in front of the dais where she and Aleki had sat at Tama’s feet the day she arrived.
“How familiar are you with our language?” Manu spun her in a tight circle, pulling her back into a classic European dance position. He was careful to keep an appropriate amount of space between their bodies she noted.
Stella side eyed him, looking for a hint of jest under that perfect skin.
“A little. I’m learning as fast as I can but I’m afraid I still have a long way to go.”
“We take the naming of our children seriously here on Avali. Meanings are ascribed, ancestors honoured. It’s a whole thing. Literally translated, Manu means ‘bird’. But the word itself is also used to communicate the ideas of strength and freedom. These are important concepts here. They encompass a great deal of the Avali spirit.”
“And Aleki’s name?”
Manu grinned quickly, a flash of white in a sea of bronze and Stella heard a stifled feminine moan from somewhere behind her.
“Aleki’s name means ‘defender’. He is the oldest, of course. It’s his job to protect our people, our interests, our way of life. It’s a heavy burden. And now he has someone to share it with.”
“He’s not really a sharer. And I’m not exactly equipped.”
Manu threw his head back and laughed. “You, Ms Warren, are exactly what he needs.”
“May I cut in?” The low voice reached inside Stella and melted the very parts she’d been trying to ice over.
“Well, I don’t know,” Manu twirled her and her overheated business around and dipped her quickly. “Does the lady want to dance with you?”
Aleki damn near growled. “She’s my fiancée.”
“And yet, you’ve ignored her all night.” Another spin. “Maybe she’s enjoying having someone pay a little attention to her.”
Stella’s stomach hurled itself against her admittedly weak abdominal muscles as she waited for Aleki’s response.
“I’ve been working.” Aleki’s voice was tight, his eyes flashing fire that betrayed his anger. “It would be a lot easier if I wasn’t the only one doing the bloody job. Maybe if you spent a little less time chasing a fucking ball around-”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Manu cut in, standing straighter. His arms turned to stone under his shirt. “You didn’t seem to mind me chasing fucking balls when it paid for the new science wing at the university.”
“Okay.” Stella stepped back. “That’s enough, gentlemen. This is not the time, nor the place to be measuring your penile gifts from God. Manu,” she extended her hand to her dance partner, “it was lovely to meet you. I hope to see you again soon.”
Relaxing slightly, Aleki’s younger brother lifted her hand and brushed his lips over the back of it. “Ms Warren, it was a pleasure and a delight. I wish you all the best.” He turned towards his brother. “I’ll see you later?”
Aleki gave a small nod, and accepted the departing slap on his chest stoically.
Stella reached out and linked her fingers through his. They parted slowly, the strong digits like stones that hers needed to wiggle through.
“I missed you.” The admission burned in her chest, vulnerability burrowing through the words.
“I had to work. It is rare to have this many dignitaries from across the Pacific in one place.” His fingers tightened around hers. “You seemed well entertained.”
His gaze didn’t meet hers. He was focused on a group of older men near the banquet table.
“Sure. It was super entertaining listening to other women rip me apart in the toilets.”
Aleki snorted, distracted by the group across the floor. “And I’m sure they regretted it. That’s why I chose you, Stella. You don’t need me to fight your battles for you.” He motioned to the men by the suckling pigs. “Excuse me, little star. I have some business I need to attend to with the President of Kiribati.”
Coldness seeped through Stella. She reached out and grabbed his hand. The electric energy that always accompanied Aleki’s touch vibrated through her, but couldn’t dislodge the icy grip of fear on her heart.
“You cut in just so you could leave me alone before the song finished? Aleki.” She waited until his eyes met hers. “I’m tired. I’d like to leave soon.”
She saw it flash across his face, the hunger, before he wrestled it down. Pasting on a patient look, he cajoled her. “Stella, I can’t leave. You can wait for me in the parlour, or Andreas can drive you home and come back for me.”
“Why can’t you come now?” Her voice was strangled, but she ignored it, searching his face for any sign of reprieve.
He cares about you, you’re important to him, he told you so.
“I’ll be there soon, little star. But I must secure the support I need here tonight. This deal is more important than anything else right now.”
His words hung in the air in front of her, taunting her with its superiority. Flashes of memories she thought she had buried hit hard, looking for her father in a crowd, her hair in a tight bun and stage makeup caked across her watering eyes when she realised he wasn’t there, even though he’d promised - promised - he’d come to this one. Was your dance recital tonight? Oh well, your mum was there. It wasn’t really that important, was it? The ice that had gripped her earlier tightened around her limbs even as flames licked through the hollowness of her stomach. Nausea rose in her throat, not the empty vapour of her pregnancy but hot thick bile, a vicious yellow that swam at the edge of her consciousness even as she felt Aleki lift her hand to his lips for a kiss. Then he was gone, striding off towards the stupid men by their stupid pigs. And she was by herself, a trivial, insignificant afterthought recounting each and every mistake that had led her here again. But not alone. She wasn’t alone, because her baby was with her. Her precious baby that she would lay down her life to protect from ever feeling this way.
The desperation to be somewhere - anywhere - else built, fighting the bile for influence as she marched down the corridor towards the main door. Battling the urge to run, she whipped her head around to search for Andreas the instant she felt the warm island air hit her face.
He was seated with a number of other drivers on the wide palace porch, playing cards to a background of ukulele and raucous joking. As soon as their eyes met though, he stood and started towards her. Another driver claimed his hand to slow him, but he shook the other man off and said something without ever taking his gaze off her face.
“Ms Warren?”
“Andreas.” Her voice was shaky, weak, and she hated herself for it.
Stop it! Never show them how much you hurt. She made a concerted effort to strengthen her tone.
“I need to leave now.”
