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“I know we have to learn this version of each other, and I’m okay with that,” he admitted. “One thing that I will never have to learn is how to care about you, want to protect you and take care of you, or how to treat you right. None of that has changed, boo.”
Gritting her teeth didn’t keep her smile from spreading. “I hoped my feelings for you would fade with time. That would have made not healing easy. But if anything, they’ve grown over the years… forcing me to have to face every demon I’ve had.”
“I fell in love with you in one day.” Choyce’s head tilted and he licked his lips. “I tried to convince myself that it was a trauma bond, puppy love at best. But I love you, Lavender, and I’m glad you came back so I would have the chance to finally say that.”
“Choyce,” she called softly, eyes watering.
“I’m not naïve,” he continued. “I know it takes more than love to make a relationship work, so I’m not saying that to make you feel obligated to stay in contact with me after you leave. I just wanted you to know that I love you.”
“I love you, Choyce.” His arm extended across the table, and Lavender placed her hand inside of his. “I felt your love all that day. I love you too.”
Silence found them for a while, and Lavender was glad. Their conversation had taken a turn that she wasn’t expecting, making her plan harder to execute. Still, this was a moment that had been brewing for ten years. No matter how much she loved and cared about Choyce, the plan would go on.
“So what have you been up to?” he asked as the chef began to bring out their meal. First up was salad and soup that she would nibble on to avoid getting full before the main course.
“Just working and trying to maintain. I think I told you earlier that I purchased the restaurant I started working at. Lucky’s. It’s my pride and joy. Cooking and baking have always been an escape for me.”
“I feel you, and I’m very proud of you. I knew back then that you’d do great things if you kept up with cooking. Are you just the owner or the chef as well?”
Lavender huffed before smiling and rolling her eyes. “I try to stay out the kitchen at least four days a week since I do have four chefs alternating shifts. It’s hard but they are amazing. Is this your only business venture?”
“Nah. I have a residential and commercial painting company.”
Nodding, she confessed, “I’m impressed. Are you still in the streets?”
“Personally? Nah.”
She chuckled. “But you have people who are?”
His head bobbed once. “For your peace of mind, I don’t fuck with the Jeromes nor the assassin association. What I do with the McEntire’s has nothing to do with them.”
“But do you operate that way? Taking innocent women and children and using them as pawns? Killing them? Selling them? Raping and abusing them?”
“If you have to ask me that, maybe you don’t know me at all.”
“I know you,” she stressed, avoiding his eyes briefly. “I just need the confirmation of hearing you say it, Choyce.”
Choyce licked the corner of his mouth before breathing deeply. “I would never do, order, or condone anything like that, Lavender.”
Silence found them again as their dishes were removed and third courses were brought out. Eventually, their conversation picked back up with no tension. As they discussed not being married or having any children, Lavender said, “Ms. Rema told me you barely go out and enjoy yourself. Your relationships don’t last. And she said you’ve hardened yourself a lot.”
“I’m still soft as hell for you.”
Blushing, she finished the last of her first glass of wine. “I guess even the most powerful men have to have a weakness.”
“And you’re still mine.”
“I want you to live your life, baby.” His eyes lifted toward the ceiling and his head shook as he pushed his still full plate to the side. To be honest, they probably should have talked before they began to eat. But Lavender was sure her attention would be on her food when the main dish arrived. “What good is having a life and freedom and money if you’re not enjoying it?”
“I enjoy it. I just…” He shrugged and looked away. “I prefer my solitude. Relationships… love… that shit has proven to be conditional.” Choyce’s eyes returned to hers when he said, “I have no intention of wasting my time establishing connections with people who are going to walk away.”
“So it’s my fault?” Her pointer finger poked her chest. “Because I left you, that’s the reason your relationships have failed?” When he didn’t respond she chuckled, but it faded quickly. “Well if it makes you feel good, my relationships have failed because of you. At eighteen, you provided the attention, affection, protection and care that has yet to be matched by another man.” It wasn’t her intention to add, “I don’t want to even think about how good of a lover you are now,” but the words slipped out and made him laugh.
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
This time, when silence found them, Lavender didn’t care if the conversation picked up. They ate, listening to love songs shuffle while finding each other’s eyes occasionally. By the time dinner was over, Lavender’s heartbeat was steadier than it had been before. In that moment, her plan or her pain no longer mattered. All that mattered was Choyce McEntire.
“Can you skate?” he asked randomly over dessert.
“Roller skate?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes. Don’t tell me that’s what we’re about to do?”
He chuckled. “If you’re down, yeah. That’s one of the things I love to do in my free time outside of paint. I figured since you were into bikes you probably could, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Most definitely. I’ll need to go to the hotel and change, but yes. I would love to.”
“You might as well just get your bags, check out, and come to my home, Lav. I’m not letting you get away from me easily tonight.”
“That sounds good to me.” She danced in her seat casually. “I want to spend every second with you that I can.”
“Glad we’re on the same page. What do you like to do when you’re not working and cooking?”
“Hmm, I love reading romance novels and movies. I think I prefer movies over books though.”
“Why’s that?”
“It’s a quicker way to consume that niche and get what I want.”
“Which is?”
Lavender didn’t answer right away. She wasn’t expecting that question to come up, but she should have known it would. Choyce was able to easily keep the conversation flowing and get whatever information he needed to draw his conclusions. How could she have forgotten that?
“The fairytale happily ever after.”
“Why does it have to be a fairytale? You don’t think you’re going to have it yourself?”
Shrugging, Lavender finished the rest of her dessert wine. “I’m not getting my hopes up, but it will be nice if I do.”
Nodding, Choyce stood. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He walked over to her, extending his hand to help her stand.
“Now can you really skate, or is this going to be like you riding that bike?”
Choyce chuckled, tightening his grip on her hand. “Man, say. I told you I couldn’t ride a bike and you were not a good teacher.”
“I was! I showed you what to do.”
“Barely! How the hell did you think I was going to learn just from watching you? You just hopped on the bike and left my ass.”
Lavender laughed. “But I came back for you.” Smile lingering, she looked into his eyes. “I will always come back for you.”
