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He went off before I had a chance to ponder this further. If I’d thought his listing of appointments had been fast, it was nothing to how he raced through that letter. He seemed to have it all perfectly written out in his head already, and was just reading off a wall in front of his inner eye. Not once did he stumble or think in enumerating figures, trade routes, factories and a million other things I had never even heard of before.
By the time we had finished, I had filled five pages and my hand was screaming for a relaxing bath in hot water. With my left hand, because my right one was on strike right now, I picked up the handwritten pages and offered them to Mr Ambrose.
He let his cold gaze wander over them. I held my breath again.
Please, God, no mistakes, no mistakes, no mistakes…
‘Passable,’ he allowed.
Thank the Lord! It had to be faultless. If there had been any mistakes, I was sure he could not have resisted pointing each one out to me before dismissing me for failing in my duty.
‘Try to remember next time that you are a human being writing, not a hen with inky feet running all across a sheet of paper,’ he added.
I pursed my lips, suppressing the urge to go for his throat.
‘Any other constructive criticism, Sir?’
‘No, that is it for now.’
He grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled something which he then handed to me. ‘Here. Address the letter to this address and put it out on Stone’s desk. Stone will take care of posting it.’
‘Yes, Sir.’
Taking the letter from him, I hurried back into my office and did as I had been told. Inside of me, conflicting emotions were fighting a fierce battle. The appointment book, the letter… was he beginning to trust me, or was I reading too much into this?
Yes, a nasty little voice inside me said. You are.
Bloody hell! But I wanted so much for him to trust me!
You may want anything you like - that doesn’t mean you’ll get it.
After his parting words last time we had been at work together, when he had practically threatened to find an excuse to get rid of me, I had been plagued by anxiety. I remembered so well our words before we had parted.
‘I have my own empire and consequently must deal with my own espionage and fight my own wars, Mr Linton. Right now, a war is coming.’
‘A… war? Over one piece of paper?’
‘Yes. A war. Possibly the biggest I’ve ever fought. I don't want you to be caught in the crossfire. I cannot have a girl being in danger!’
But did these words still count? Somehow, after what had happened today, I felt a strange mix of hope and fear inside me.
But it’s fear that’s the biggest part, isn’t it?
Bloody hell! Sometimes I really wished that inner voice of mine would shut up! I needed this position, more than ever now, and not just for myself. I didn’t know how things were going to go with Ella, but there was always the worst possibility of all: that she would end up alone and disgraced, forsaken by her family and her so-called lover, and maybe even with child. Things like that had happened before. Now and then you read about such a scandal in the papers. Young love run mad…
If it came to that, I would be there to save her, with enough money to take care of her. That, I had sworn to myself.
Angrily, I stepped out into the hallway and slammed the letter onto Mr Stone’s desk. I shouldn’t think like this! I shouldn’t give up hope. There was still time to discover a way to scare off Wilkins. Yet with every second that passed, I felt the darkness circle closer around my little sister. I needed this job! I had to keep it!
But it’s not really up to you, is it? It’s up to that stone-faced bastard in the office over there. Do you think he’ll ever really accept you for who you are?
Well, there was one way to find out. One way to see whether his earlier doubts about me had been laid to rest.
Swallowing my apprehension, I returned to his office and made a little bow, which he didn’t seem to notice.
‘Letter deposited as ordered, Sir.’
‘I see. Then I have another task for you. I-’
