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Not alcoholic ones, though - the ones I was feeling right now tended more towards homicidal!
Still… there might be other kinds of irresistible urges, too. I blushed as, unbidden, memories flooded into my mind… soft skin pressing against my lips, moving, caressing…
Dreams! Hallucinations! The whole lot of them! Things like that would never happen in real life. In real life, Mr Ambrose didn’t go around kissing people. He went around bossing people around and locking them up.
I’d show him!
Fuming, I grabbed the next best bit of paper.
My very, very, very dear Mr Ambrose,
May I inform you that the strongest urge I feel at the moment has nothing whatsoever to do with alcohol, and everything to do with your disembowelment? OPEN THAT DOOR!
Your affectionate secretary
Lilly Linton
The answer wasn’t long in coming.
Mr Linton,
You may say anything you like as long as it distracts neither you nor me from working. The door stays locked.
Mr Ambrose
The obstinate…! But why was I wasting my time like this, anyway? I was in a superior position.
Dearest Mr Ambrose
You might not recall, but I have the necessary keys in my possession to open the aforementioned door. You gave them to me yourself. Therefore, I shall see you in a minute.
Yours affectionately,
Lilly Linton
I stuffed the message into the tube, pulled the lever and marched off triumphantly towards the door without waiting for an answer. My triumphant march was somewhat impeded, however, when my keys wouldn’t fit in the lock. I tried them again, and again. Still, they didn’t fit. Marching over to the other door, the one to the hallway, I tried to open this one, but discovered that it, too, had been locked, and my keys didn’t fit. By the time I had returned to the desk, another message had arrived.
Mr Linton,
I had the locks changed.
Rikkard Ambrose.
P.S. Affection is not among the services I require of you.
Heat rose to my cheeks on reading the last line. I had reached for the pen before I had started to think.
Dear Mr Ambrose,
I wonder you went to the expense of two new locks, simply for the sake of my abstinence! How wasteful of you.
Yours
Lilly Linton
P.S: If you do not require it, I shall not offer it.
Only half a minute later, his response arrived.
