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I raised my chin.
‘You don’t scare me,’ I told the building.
Maybe it was just my imagination, but I thought I heard a faint answering growl.
Ignoring my thumping heart, I marched up the stairs, right towards the maul of the beast. I arrived on the top step and pushed, forcing open the monster’s jaws, also known as doors. Cool, emotionless air with a familiar lack of smell drifted out to greet me. I swallowed and stepped in.
The hall inside was just as I remembered it, and yet… different. More intense. Had there been quite so much activity when I had last been here? Hundreds of busy feet were pattering through the cavernous space. People were carrying files, delivering messages, and most of all, sweating their guts out for fear of the great master upstairs.
I noticed everything with an almost supernatural focus. Sweat beaded on hundreds of foreheads. Dust motes danced through the air. Flies copulated on the ceiling, while trying their best to keep away from cobwebs. Atoms bumped against each other everywhere.
I noticed all this, and yet, the details passed me by, like water flowing around a rock in a river. The only thing I could think, was: Oh my God! Oh my God, he’s right upstairs!
And all that lay between him and me was the hallway. Oh, and the information desk. And the stairs. And another hallway. And a door. And then… then…
Him!
In person!
Together with me!
All right, I told myself. You are calm, Lilly. Calm and relaxed! You are a strong, sensible woman, and you will not lose your nerve simply because of some man.
Him! Together with me!!!
All right… maybe I was not quite so calm, after all.
Gathering all my courage, I fixed my eyes on the opposite end of the hall and took one step towards the stairs. And then I took another. And another. Damn, why were there so many steps between me and that staircase? And how many had I already taken? I didn’t know. I had forgotten to count. I was too busy thinking He kissed me! On the lips! And now I’m going to see him again!
What the bloody hell was going to happen? What was I going to do? And, again, the most important question: what was he going to do? He couldn’t possibly…?
Oh my God, yes, he could!
If he wanted to.
But was he going to?
No. No, of course not! I mean, doing something like that, here… that would be totally… No! Of course he wasn’t going to do that!
With the slow steps of a doomed woman, I continued through the hall. The dust motes fluttered out of the way for me, and the flies stopped copulating to watch me pass. Even the spiders stopped spinning their nets for a moment. Finally, I reached Sallow-face’s desk.
‘Good morning,’ I said.
He inclined his head about a quarter of an inch.
‘Good morning,’ he said. His left eyebrow twitched suspiciously.
Blast, blast, blast! Could he see on my face that I’d been snogging his employer? I bet he could read it on my forehead! Rushing past him, I stepped into the separate hallway that led to my destination. I looked up and saw the steps leading up and around the walls, all the way to the top of the building, steps even steeper than the ones outside.
Dong…
The ominous sense of déjà vu overcame me again, even stronger than when I awoke. I turned my head westwards. There, a small window stood half open, just like it had been on my first day at work, letting a bit of light fall into the stark stone hallway. And, through that window, there now also came the sound of a bell. A deep, reverberating sound that chilled my bones.
Time for work. Time to meet my fate.
Dong…
But was this truly déjà vu?
