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‘Oh, come on.’ She gave a little laugh. ‘Don’t be shy. I’ll take good care of ye and your little friend.’
‘My little friend?’
‘Or maybe ‘e’s big. Who knows?’ She shrugged. ‘Let’s find out, shall we?’
And she reached for my trousers.
With a squeak, I jumped back - and slammed right into a wall.
‘No! Let’s not!’
‘Oh, so ye’re one of those who like the chase, are ye?’ Her eyes sparkled, and she started towards me.
‘No! No, I’m definitely not.’
‘There ain’t no reason to be ashamed. I’ll be discreet.’ And she leapt like a panther. Giving another squeak, I ducked out of the way just in time.
‘No, please! You don’t understand! You don’t want to do this. I’m not what you think. I can’t… I haven’t…’
Her eyes widened in understanding. ‘Oh dear.’
‘Yes!’ Relief flooded through me. Finally! She had understood. She had seen me for what I really was.
‘Ye…ye are…’
‘Yes.’
‘…a virgin?’
What?
‘Never dipped your wick before, ‘ave ye, poor boy?’
No! No!
She gave me a smile that was probably supposed to be reassuring. ‘Not to worry! Like I said, Amy’ll take good care of your little friend. We’ll start with something easy. Ye lie back, and I’ll-’
I covered my ears with my hands just in time to prevent having to hear what exactly she planned to do. Not getting the message, she started towards me again. Frantically, I glanced from left to right - and suddenly spotted it. My way to freedom. My salvation. The window.
So what if we were two storeys up and I would probably break my neck? Desperate times demanded desperate measures. Leaping out of the reach of Amy the Terrible Temptress, I grabbed the window latch and wrenched it open. One thrust of my arm and the cold wind blew into the room through the open window.
‘Stop! Remain where you are! Um…one foot nearer, and I, err… I plunge myself from the precipice! Yes, that’s what I’ll do! I’ll plunge myself straight down, and my body shall be crushed out of the very form of humanity upon the stones of that courtyard, ere it become the victim of thy brutality!’
All right, maybe that was a little bit over the top. But it had worked for that girl in Ivanhoe backed into a corner by a lecherous Templar.
The girl frowned. ‘Eh? What?’
‘Stay the bloody hell away from me or I’ll jump!’
‘What?’ Planting her feet a few feet away from me, the girl put her fists on her hips. ‘Now listen ‘ere, guv! I ain’t that bad!’
‘Oh. Um…I didn’t mean to imply-’
‘Just so you know, there’s plenty a fellow who’d ask nicely and pay good money for a little romp with Amy!’
‘I, err…am sure they would. It’s just-’
‘It’s just what?’ Her bright eyes bored into me like daggers, and suddenly she didn’t look so much like a delicate songbird anymore. ‘Ain’t I pretty enough for ye? Someone ‘as a pretty ‘igh opinion of themselves here, eh?’
