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‘For thirty minutes or an hour, if you could,’ I said, giving him a weak smile. ‘Could you? Just Keep an eye on her and feed her? I need to close my eyes for a moment, or I’m going to collapse.’
‘Certainly, Miss Linton. I’ll wake you when it’s time.’
He kept his word. Promptly on the hour, he awoke me and took his leave. I was marginally more functional, but even with an hour or so of sleep under my belt, I still felt as if a horse had sat on me.
Still, one look at Ella told me that no matter how I might feel, she had to feel a hundred times worse. I hardly recognized my little sister. Oh, her body was there, her shell—but the spirit had drained right out of her along with every drop of water. She stared at me out of sunken, hopeless eyes.
‘Lill?’
I swallowed. ‘Yes?’
‘If…’ she coughed, and groaned from the pain. ‘If I dictate you a letter, will you give it to Edmund?’
The words echoed in the room that was far too small to have an echo. She might as well have shouted at me or kicked me in the stomach. Her meaning was painfully, horrendously clear.
‘Why don’t you just tell him yourself what it is you want him to know,’ I growled, leaning forward. ‘When you’re well again!’
You probably weren’t supposed to be angry at a loved one on their deathbed, but dammit, I couldn’t help it! I wanted nothing more than to kick her off her deathbed, break it into a thousand pieces and find her something more comfortable to lie on.
‘I think…’ she coughed again. This time the fit lasted longer. It was horrible, dry coughing without a drop of moisture anywhere in sight. ‘I think we have to admit that’s unlikely to happen, don’t you?’
‘No! I think nothing of the kind!’
‘Lill…’
A trembling, dry little hand reached out to touch mine. I gripped it fiercely. Too fiercely, probably. But if it hurt her, Ella didn’t let it show.
‘I’m going to die,’ she whispered. ‘I can feel it in my bones…the sickness eating away at me. I don’t think I’ll last long now.’
‘What a load of horse crap!’ I clenched her hand even tighter. ‘You’re going to live, dammit, do you hear me? Bloody live!’
‘Your bedside manner gets more charming day by day.’
‘You can’t go!’ Leaning forward, I stared into her eyes, not commanding now but pleading shamelessly. ‘What about Edmund? You love him, God knows why! You can’t leave him behind!’
Pain flashed in her eyes for a moment—but then it vanished, to be replaced by a strange, otherworldly peace. Something I wouldn’t understand if I lived to be a hundred.
‘I’ll see him again eventually. Death isn’t the end.’
‘It bloody is for me! If you’re dead, you’re gone!’
Smiling, she gave my hand a little squeeze. It was all she was capable of. ‘You don’t need me, Lill. You’ve never needed me. You always were the strongest of us.’
‘Of course I bloody need you, you feckless little idiot! I…I…’
My hands trembling, I wrestled with myself. I hadn’t wanted to do this—but now I had no other choice! I had pulled out all the stops. I only had one weapon left in my arsenal.
‘Bloody hell, yes I need you!’ I told her from between clenched teeth. ‘If there’s ever been a time I needed you, it’s now! You…’ I swallowed. My heart was pounding like an army drum. The moment of truth had finally come. With enormous effort, I managed a tremulous smile. ‘You wouldn’t want to miss the big event, would you?’
Slowly, I slipped my trembling hand into my pocket. When it came out again, there was a glinting ring on my ring finger.
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Ella blinked.
And blinked again.
And a third time.
