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It’s really happening. I’m going. I’m leaving, all on my own.

Stepping out from behind the funnel, I slowly approached the railing and gazed back at the quickly receding city of Dover, its beaches, docks and white cliffs gleaming in the sun. A broad smile began to spread over my face. I had done it. I had gotten away and was heading towards France. Towards Mr Ambrose. And far, far away from Miss Emilia Ha—

‘Mr Linton! What a pleasure to see you here!’

I froze.

Slowly, torturously slowly, I turned around. I didn’t want to see what I knew I would see once I faced towards the ship—but as usual, the universe didn’t give a flying fig about my preferences.

‘So you’re on your way to France, too?’ Beaming with happiness, Emila Harse rushed towards me, little hearts blinking in her eyes. ‘How wonderful! I was so terribly upset when we had to board the ferry this morning, thinking we were leaving you behind. And now look what’s happened! Isn’t this splendid?’

‘A pleasant coincidence,’ the mother agreed, a calculating look in her eyes that I knew all too well from my Aunt Brank. It was the same look she directed at eligible bachelors. I nearly jumped over the side of the ship. ‘A pleasant coincidence indeed.’

‘Coincidence?’ Stepping towards me, Emilia touched my hand. Why shouldn’t I jump over the side? Surely it couldn’t be so hard to swim to Calais? Wasn’t there a fellow who had tried to swim the English Channel and only drowned just before he reached the shore? That was a risk worth taking, surely! ‘It must be fate that has led us together.’

Fate, I’m going to kill you.

Feeding the Homeless and the Blackmailers

As a child, I loved playing hide and seek. We had our own special family rules, and they were quite simple: I would put a frog in my aunt’s boot. Her screech was the signal for the game to begin. I would hide, and she would seek (screaming with rage and waving a carpet beater). The thought made me smile. Ah, what fun times we had as a family…

Now, however, things were different.

‘Mr Linton? Yoo-hoo, Mr Linton, where are you?’

Holding my breath, I cowered behind the lifeboat and prayed she wouldn’t think to look there.

Just let her walk by. Just let her walk by, please…

The tarpaulin over the lifeboat lifted just a bit and a curious pair of eyes peeked out.

‘Are ye a stowaway, too?’ whispered a voice that hadn’t encountered puberty yet.

‘No,’ I whispered. ‘I’m a passenger! Please, can I come hide in there with you?’

The eye blinked. ‘Err….why?’

‘Yoo-hoo, Mr Linton? Come out, come out, wherever you are. You’re such a tease. I love that about you.’

‘Long story!’ I hissed. ‘Can’t explain now. Please, just please! Let me hide in there?’

The young stowaway considered.

‘Two shillings,’ he finally decided. A hand emerged from the tarpaulin and opened.

‘You expect me to pay you?’

‘Hey, Mister, ye’re the one who’s wanting to share me hiding place.’

‘Your hiding place? You are the stowaway here! I could just call the captain and—’

‘—draw attention to yerself,’ the boy finished. He sounded as if he was enjoying himself. ‘And I’m sure we don’t want that, now, would we? Two shillings and sixpence.’

‘What? You conniving, greedy little—’

‘Two shillings and eightpence.’

‘All right, all right! But only because you remind me of someone I know.’ Quickly, I dug around for a few coins in my pocket and pressed them into the greedy little hand. It withdrew with admirable speed, and I followed, crawling under the tarpaulin. Inside, I encountered a shadowy little form with a dirty face and gap-toothed grin.

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