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I slipped beneath the covers, feeling looser and more relaxed than I had in a long while, but there was also a bit of guilt starting to creep up in the back of my mind. Since the first time I saw him, I’d been telling myself I couldn’t let myself be attracted to him. I couldn’t let myself be drawn to him and want anything to do with him. Yet, I also couldn’t resist giving in to my desire for him.
I was going to have to get over it, I chastised myself. If I hung on to the guilt, it would be written all over my face the next time I saw him. Finn would be able to see it, and that would be beyond awkward and embarrassing. Considering it seemed our friend groups were overlapping now, it was very likely we would be seeing each other more often, and I didn’t want to have to worry he was going to look at me and see the thoughts about him in my eyes.
At least for tonight, I got to enjoy the satisfaction and the bit of fulfillment that eased me into a deep sleep.
13
FINN
I went to bed Sunday night with Wendy on my mind, and I woke up with her still there. The last little bits of a dream about her were still lingering, but they faded before I could latch onto them enough to keep enjoying them in the few minutes I got to lie in bed before having to get up. Even from under all the covers, I could feel how chilly the air in my place was, and I was reluctant to get out of the comfort of my bed.
Though the afternoons could still creep up to warm temperatures, it was that time of year when the mornings and evenings were starting to get right up on cold. That wasn’t my favorite thing. Especially when it was so early like I had to get up on Monday mornings. Since Helen implemented closing down the diner on Sundays, Monday mornings had gotten a bit busier.
That morning, it was a little bit easier getting myself out of bed and out the door. I had a special lemon pie to make, and thoughts of serving it to Wendy later in the day motivated me to get to the diner. She and I hadn’t made any specific plans about what time she would come by, but I thought there was a chance she might swing by for lunch with the guys from the logging company.
Everett, Deacon, and Carter made it a habit of coming in a few times a week, and even though I hadn’t seen Wendy join them, I thought maybe she would that day. None of them showed up for lunch, but I didn’t lose hope. It could have been a really busy day out in the woods, and they just didn’t get a chance to get away to eat.
The later it got in the afternoon, the more anxious I got to see her. I found myself glancing out of the kitchen into the dining room every couple of minutes to check and see if she’d gotten there. Time slipped by, and she still didn’t show up. The dinner rush came and went. During a lull, I noticed it was more than an hour after they would usually be done working.
It was almost closing time when I resigned myself to the fact that Wendy wasn’t coming. It stung, especially when I went into the cooler and saw her lemon pie sitting there on the shelf waiting for her. I let myself be upset for a bit, then realized I might be thinking way too much into this. When I stopped and forced myself to think about it rationally, I told myself it was entirely possible her not coming in could have nothing to do with me at all.
She was a single mother, after all. There was a lot going on in her life. It was possible something else came up and she just wasn’t able to make it. Telling myself I felt much better than I actually did, I took the pie out of the cooler and sold it. I spent the rest of the night trying my best not to dwell. She’d never actually committed to coming in to see me, and I hadn’t really made it sound like a serious plan. I’d just kind of thrown it out there that she should come by, and I’d have a lemon pie for her. It wasn’t like I’d made a date with her, or she said she was absolutely coming. Maybe she’d come Tuesday.
The next morning, I made another lemon pie and put it in the same spot on the shelf in the cooler. In case she did come by that day, I wanted to be able to surprise her with the pie. I didn’t let myself get my hopes up too much. Part of me wanted to ask Helen about her, but she had been in her office all morning, and I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to her at all. Besides, it would probably seem strange for me to suddenly start inquiring about a still somewhat casual friend of hers and an employee of her husband.
