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Cindy
Six Months Later
I stand in the bathroom, needing a moment of alone time. The old cathedral where we’re getting married is filled with gorgeously dressed people. All of our friends are here, along with my family and Babushka, who I guess is my family now too. The rest of Alex’s family didn’t get an invite to the wedding, although a fair few of his old friends have flown out to be here today.
Everywhere I turn there is noise and movement. It’s all happy noise – laughter, tears of joy and chattering, but I just needed a moment of silence.
The bathroom adjoins the room I claimed for myself and my bridesmaids, Star, Rosa, and Raven, to get ready in. They’re still in there, sipping champagne and chatting. I know they were worried when I announced I needed a moment alone to center myself, but they’ll get over it when they find out why and hopefully, they’ll understand why I didn’t talk to them about it.
I clutch the edge of the sink and look at myself in the mirror and smile at my reflection. I look radiant, even if I do say so myself.
My dress is silvery white with a tight bodice and a big white flowing skirt. A beautiful diamond and silver sparkly tiara holds my veil in place, my curls peeking out from around the sides of it. My make-up is flawless. My skin looks like porcelain with my cheeks tinged with just the right amount of blusher to make me look excited.
I didn’t need the extra color, I am excited. I can’t wait to marry Alex.
As I look into my own eyes in the mirror, I see the truth shining in the unshed tears there, and I know I have to tell him now. I should have told him sooner, but I told myself no, I could wait. But I can’t. I feel like it’s now or never and I choose now.
I nod to myself, telling myself I’ve made the right choice. I turn away from the mirror and leave the bathroom before I can talk myself back out of this.
“I won’t be long,” I say to the girls as I pass through the room.
I head for the door to the room, ignoring the questions being called out behind me from Rosa and Star. I walk along the corridor blindly, vaguely aware that people are greeting me as I pass by them, and I’m rudely ignoring them.
Halfway down the corridor, I pick up the many voluminous, whispering layers that make up the skirt of my gown in both hands and start to run. I am aware of passing Babushka as she joins the other guests who are beginning to make their way downstairs to the banquet hall where Alex and I will be married. I hear her asking me where I’m going, but I don’t stop, only give her a big smile. If I stop, there won’t be enough time to catch Alex before he leaves his room.
I keep running and finally, I arrive at his room. It’s at the opposite end of the corridor to mine. Mine is beside one staircase, his another. We agreed to the idea so that we wouldn’t see each other on the day, at least not before the ceremony.
I go into the room without knocking. I am greeted by a room full of groomsmen, all of whom look at me in shock as I burst into the room.
“Where is he?” I ask, scanning the room and instantly seeing Alex isn’t among the men gathered there.
“He’s in the bathroom,” one of the men says.
“Cindy, what are you doing here?” Alex’s best man asks. There is a note of urgency in his voice.
“I need to talk to him. Now,” I say.
“Is everything ok?” someone else asks.
“Yeah, I just need to talk to him,” I repeat.
I sense the mood in the room changing. The groomsmen are starting to shift about uncomfortably, pulling at their suits and ties. Maybe they think I’ve changed my mind and either I’m about to call off the wedding, or stand Alex up.
Before I can tell them to relax, all is well, a door opens and Alex steps into the room. He looks gorgeous in his gray suit and white shirt, a perfect contrast to the groomsmen who wear traditional black suits. For a second, our eyes meet and we just drink each other in.
“Isn’t this meant to be unlucky?” Alex teases me with a wink.
He said the tradition of not seeing each other on the day of the wedding was stupid, an old wives’ tale, but I insisted and he agreed to it, and now here I am being the one to bring bad luck to us.
I don’t reply. If I do, I know I will cry and I don’t want to cry. I also don’t want to have this conversation in a room full of Alex’s friends and I try to tell him that with my eyes. I don’t know if he gets the message, but without looking away from me, he addresses the whole room.
