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said, finally shouting over her. “Because I knew you would argue. I knew you would beat it to death as though you were in court pleading your case to a jury. You would refute everything I said simply for the sake of argument and not give an inch, because with you every goddamn thing comes down to a contest. Well, this isn’t a competition, Steffi. And it isn’t a trial. It’s our lives.”
“Oh, God, spare me the melodrama.”
He snuffled a short laugh. “That’s just it. I need a little melodrama. Our relationship is totally devoid of melodrama. Melodrama is human. It’s—”
“Hammond, what in the hell are you talking about?”
“Everything in life can’t be summed up in a brief. All the answers aren’t found in law books.” Frustrated with his own inability to explain, he swore beneath his breath before making another stab at it. “You’re brilliant, but you never stop. The arguing, the besting, they’re constant. Incessant. There’s no down time with you.”
“Forgive the pun, but I didn’t know that being with me had been such a trial for you.”
“Look,” he said curtly. “I’ll spare you the melodrama if you’ll spare me the phony wounded-party act. You’re angry, but you’re not hurt.”
“Will you stop telling me what I am and what I am not? You don’t know what I’m feeling.”
“I know it isn’t love. You don’t love me. Do you? Given a choice right now, what would you take: Your career? Or me?”
“What?” she cried. “I can’t believe that you would issue such a ridiculous and juvenile ultimatum. ‘Given a choice’? What kind of sexist bullshit is that? Why must I make a choice? You don’t have to choose. Why can’t I have you and my career?”
“You can. But in order for it to work, it takes two people who are willing to make a few sacrifices. Two people who love each other very much and are dedicated to the relationship and one another’s happiness. What we do together,” he said, pointing upstairs toward the bedroom, “isn’t love. It’s recreation.”
“Well, we’ve gotten to be damn good at keeping each other entertained.”
“I don’t deny that. But entertainment is all it ever was, and it’s pointless to suspect it was something else.” He paused to catch his breath. She continued to stare at him stormily.
He moved to the table, picked up his beer, and took a long drink. Finally he looked over at her. “Don’t pretend that you disagree. I know you agree.”
“We get along so well.”
“We did. We do. We had some great times. No one’s to blame for this. There’s no right side or wrong side. It’s simply a matter of our wanting different futures.”
She thought on that for a moment. “I made no secret of what I wanted, Hammond. If I had wanted hearth and home, I would have stayed in my hometown, obeyed my father, and married immediately after high school—if not before—and started having babies like my sisters did. I would have spared myself their scorn and his sermons. I wouldn’t have struggled to get where I am. I’ve still got a long way to go to get where I want to be. From the beginning you knew what my priorities were.”
“I admire you for them.”
“Correction. What my priorities are.”
“I hope you surpass all the goals you’ve set for yourself. I mean that sincerely. It’s just that your personal goals leave no room for anything else. They’re incompatible with the commitment I want from a life partner.”
“You really want a Holly Homemaker?”
“God, no,” he said, laughing and shaking his head. He stared into near space for a moment, then said, “I’m not sure what I want.”
“You’re just sure you don’t want me.”
Again, he knew that she was more miffed than hurt. Nevertheless, no woman liked being rejected. He respected her enough to let her down gently. “It’s not you, Steffi. It’s me. I want to be with someone who’s at least willing to compromise on a few points.”
“I never compromise.”
Softly, he said, “You’re slipping. You just made my case for me.”
“No, I gave you that one.”
“Thanks, I’ll take it.”
Then they smiled at each other, because beyond their physical attraction they had always admired one another’s shrewdness. She said, “You’re very smart, Hammond. I like smart and admire intellect. You have a sharp wit. You’re tough when toughness is called for. You can even be mean when you have to be, and mean really gets me off. You’re indisputably good-looking.”
“Please. I’m blushing.”
