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“I want you, too.”
“Then marry me. We could have such a perfect life together.”
“No life is perfect, Chad.”
“As near perfect as two imperfect human beings could make it.” She heard his sigh. “I love you. I’d do everything in my power to make you and Sarah happy.”
“I know,” she said quietly, silently adding to herself that he’d do everything but give up his life’s work. Maybe she could learn to live with it. If it meant having Chad or not, maybe she could learn to accept it.
She thought she was getting closer to that acceptance as the days passed. Gratefully she went to work on Monday after creating cleaning projects in her spotless house on Sunday to occupy her hours. She wasn’t really needed at the mall either, but she made work for herself. When she was alone with Sarah at home, she realized how empty the house, and their lives, seemed without Chad.
He called every night at the appointed time and ran up an astronomic long-distance bill. “Can you believe mosquitoes in December? I swear there’s one in the motel room. I can’t see him, but he buzzes in my ear during the night.”
She laughed, her heart filling with love. His calls were like a tonic that was becoming addictive. Between nine and ten each night, the hands on the clock moved with maddening slowness. Proudly she told him everything she was getting accomplished while he was away. But her pride and effervescence dissolved when he called later in the week to report that he wasn’t coming home as soon as he had predicted.
“I’m sorry, Leigh. I thought I’d be back tomorrow, but we’re waiting for a part to be flown in from Houston. I’m sitting here doing nothing, but I can’t leave yet. You understand, don’t you?”
No! her mind screamed. “Of course,” she said instead. “I’m fine, really.”
“I love you. I’ll call again tomorrow night.”
Fortune seemed to have picked her out to plague. The next day, during the busiest shopping hours, a group of unsupervised children knocked over a decorated Christmas tree situated in front of one of the most popular stores. Leigh and her crew rushed into the pandemonium the incident created, but it was several hours before she got everything back to normal. Since some of the decorations had been irreparably damaged, she had to make do with what could be salvaged. She cursed the irresponsibility of some parents as she surveyed the denuded tree.
She left late because of the crisis and got a speeding ticket on the way to the babysitter’s house to pick up Sarah.
“Did you know that your inspection sticker is a month overdue?” the officer asked politely. He could have been inquiring about her health.
“No,” she said miserably.
“I’m going to have to give you a ticket for that, too.”
Sarah was crying so hard that the kindly maternal sitter for once was relieved to see her go. The baby screamed all the way home, distracting Leigh from her driving and compounding the headache that had begun with the destruction of her decorations at the mall.
Sarah wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t be pacified. She didn’t want to swing, didn’t want to be rocked, didn’t want to lie down, didn’t want to be held.
Leigh never got a chance to eat, so distraught was she over Sarah’s uncharacteristic squalling. She had only a trace of fever, which could have been
brought on by the tantrum, but no other symptoms. Battered and worn out after hours of trying to please her daughter, Leigh carried Sarah to her crib and laid her down on her stomach. “You can just cry it out for a while,” she said and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Feeling like the worst villain in fact or fiction, she nonetheless tried to tune out the infant’s screaming long enough to get out of her clothes and take a hot, pounding shower. Sarah was still at it a half-hour later, and Leigh called the pediatrician.
“I don’t know what it could be,” she told the physician helplessly.
“Could be nothing more than those new teeth or a tummy ache. I’ll call an all-night pharmacy and have them send out a mild analgesic. It won’t hurt her, and will help Sarah and you get through the night. If she’s not calmed down by morning, bring her in.”
Leigh glanced at the clock, hoping the delivery of the medicine would be made before ten so she could talk to Chad in peace.
But by ten-thirty, Leigh was still waiting for both the medicine and Chad’s call. She paced the floor with Sarah, patting her back. Tears rolled down both their faces. “How could he do this to me tonight?” she asked the empty room. “Today, of all days, how could he break his word?”
The delivery boy arrived at eleven-thirty, fresh-mouthed and cheerful, with no apology or excuse for taking so long. Leigh could have slapped him when he said, “Have a good evening.”
Sarah choked and sputtered the medicine until Leigh could only guess if any had gotten down her throat or not. Apparently it hadn’t, for her crying went on incessantly. Leigh tried to lie down with the baby in her bed, but Sarah wouldn’t stop thrashing long enough to give in to the exhaustion Leigh knew she must feel. She had been crying for hours. So had Leigh. Why hadn’t Chad called? Had something happened to him?
She was pacing with the baby some time after midnight when she heard knocking on the front door. Hope combatted with caution, but she raced to the door and swung it open.
“Why are all the lights… What’s wrong, Leigh? Leigh?” Chad asked again as she collapsed against him.
Sarah was squished between them, but Leigh didn’t care. Her face nestled in the hard strength of his chest and moved back and forth. “You didn’t call and Sarah’s crying for no reason I can see. I got a traffic ticket… the inspection sticker. And a tree fell over. I could have strangled those little boys and their mothers…”
