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“You’ll be all right. Lie back. Take deep breaths.”
A young woman in yoga attire had responded to the older lady’s shout for help. She eased Arden down until she was reclining in the supporting arms of another stranger who’d taken up position behind her. Kneeling at her side, the young woman continued to speak to her in a calm and soothing manner. But nothing she’d said helped, not with the pain that assailed her, not with the despair that was equally intense.
Desperate, she shoved her hands between her thighs in an effort to hold inside the life that her body was prematurely trying to expel.
Lisa located the drinking gla
sses in the cabinet in which they’d always been and poured them each a drink. Bringing them to the table with her, she sat down across from Arden.
She sipped from her glass, then reached out and covered Arden’s hand with her own. “Baby sister.”
Lisa whispered the endearment with affection, caring, and concern. All of which Arden knew to be genuine. Lisa was as baffled by her life choices as she was annoyed.
She said, “From the moment you called me yesterday, I’ve been in a tizzy. I don’t know how much you remember of last evening, but when I got to the hospital, you were in hysterics one minute and near catatonic the next. I was beside myself. Then this morning, trying to get you out of there…”
“What’s your name?”
At her side and bending over her, the EMT had replaced the yoga-clad woman. He was young and fresh-faced.
“Arden Maxwell.”
“Arden, we’re going to take care of you, okay? How far along are you?”
“Twenty-two weeks.”
His partner, who looked like a career bodybuilder, was taking her vitals. They asked everyone who’d congregated around her to move aside, then lifted her onto the gurney, and rolled her out of the store.
The midday sun was directly overhead. It was blinding. Her vision turned watery.
She blotted tears from her eyes now.
Lisa must have noticed, because she stopped enumerating the aggravations associated with being discharged from the hospital. “What I’m leading up to is that this is the first chance I’ve had to tell you how sorry I am. Truly, truly sorry, Arden.” She stroked Arden’s hand.
Fresh tears welled up in Arden’s eyes. She looked into her untouched glass of Coke where bubbles rose in a rush to the surface, only to burst upon reaching it. Something vital and alive, extinguished faster than a blink.
In the ambulance, her jeans were cut away. She was draped. When the young-looking medic examined her, his smooth brow wrinkled.
She struggled to angle herself up in order to see what had caused his consternation, but the bodybuilder kept her pressed down, a hand on each of her shoulders, not unkindly, but firmly.
“My baby will be all right, won’t she?” Arden sobbed. “Please. Tell me she’ll be okay.”
But, thinking back on it now, she believed she’d known even then, on a primal and instinctual level, that her girl child would never draw breath.
“You probably won’t believe this,” Lisa continued as she rubbed her thumb across Arden’s knuckles, “but I admired you for electing to have the baby. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I was appalled when you told me about it and what you planned to do. Coming back here to live and raise the child. Here of all places?”
She took a look around as though seeking to find an explanation for the inexplicable written on the faded wallpaper. “It’s masochistic. Does this self-inflicted punishment have to do with the baby’s father?”
Arden picked up her glass and tried to hold it steady as she took a sip of Coke. The glass clinked against her lower teeth. She set it back down.
In a hushed tone, Lisa said, “Is he married, Arden?”
She cast her eyes downward.
Lisa sighed. “I figured as much. Did he even know you were pregnant?”
She took Arden’s silence as a no.
“Just as well,” Lisa said. “You’re under no obligation to tell him now. If he didn’t know about the child, he doesn’t need to know about its fate. That episode of your life is behind you. You can start afresh. Clean slate.”
