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The woman closed the back door at the same time as Mateo, and I wondered if he was going to just leave the SUV parked there. It was a "no parking" zone, but as he started to walk up the pathway next to the woman, I realized that he didn’t care. The way he held his shoulders back and his head up high said more than any words ever could.
He flicked his head up, his gaze immediately piercing mine as if he’d known I was there all along. I was glued to the ground, my feet not working, and my stomach a mess of butterflies. His lips lifted into a knowing grin. Damn him.
Why did he make me feel like that? Why did one look render me incapable of doing anything else? This wasn’t normal, right? He shouldn’t have been able to make my body not feel like my own.
I scrambled, holding my bag tighter to me, hoping he’d just walk on by me as if I didn’t exist. And maybe to him I didn’t. I’d only officially spoken to him once. I mean sure, I saw Cardo and Chiara nearly every day. I’d even brought burgers home with me last night and we’d had a makeshift picnic until Cardo had said it was time to go back to his apartment.
I’d seen the same hesitation on Cardo’s face that I knew was on mine every time I started the walk up the stairs to my own apartment. I hated to think what was happening between his walls when Mateo wasn’t there. But I knew it wasn’t my place to ask. Too many times when I was a kid a nosy neighbor would intervene, and all it would do was make things ten times worse. My mom would stress out and get high, my dad would try and calm her down, then join her in her high, and I’d be left alone.
So I stayed in my lane. I kept my feelings to myself and tried to do what I could without stepping fully in. But now Mateo was a couple of feet away from me, and the woman he was with was smiling back and forth between us.
“Hi,” I croaked out, cringing at my too loud voice in the otherwise quiet space. Crap. Why did I do that?
“Hey,” Mateo smoothly replied, halting in front of me. His dark eyes scanned my face, taking in everything that he could, which I knew wouldn’t be much. I’d become a pro at guarding all of my emotions.
Neither of us said anything for what had to be nearly a minute. It was becoming awkward, but I wasn’t sure what to say. Did I ask why he was here again? My attention moved to the woman. Maybe I should ask who she was? Maybe I should mention the burgers from last night. Maybe I could—
“Hi,” the woman suddenly said, stepping closer to Mateo. It was a subtle move, but the lack of touching was a blasting siren. “I’m Aida.” She held her hand out to me.
“Luna,” I whispered, placing my hand in hers. “Do you go here?” I couldn’t help myself. The question was out of my mouth before I’d even registered it.
“Yep.” She shuffled on the spot. “I’m in my second year.” She paused and waved her hand between us. “You two know each other?”
“No,” I blurted out. Mateo raised a brow and pushed his hands into his pockets, his stance and grin telling me he was enjoying the burning of my cheeks. “I mean, kind of.” I shook my head, laughing awkwardly. “I live in his apartment block.”
“Oh.” Aida nodded like she understood. “And you go here too?”
“I do. I moved here for—” I pinched my lips together to stop talking. When I was nervous, I talked way more than I should. It had been my downfall when I was younger. I thought I’d gotten ahold of it, but apparently I reverted right back when I felt like I needed to fill the space with talk. “Yeah. I go here too.”
“Nice.” Aida smiled, the kind of smile that caught you off guard. “I need to head to class.” She turned to face Mateo. “I’ll see you in a few hours?”
“I’ll be here,” he said, pulling something out of his pocket. It looked like a cell phone, but also didn’t. “Want me to walk you to class? I don’t need to be back at the mansion for another hour.”
Aida shook her head, her hair flipping around her. “No. I’ll be fine.” They stared at each other for a beat, a silent conversation happening that I felt like I was intruding on. She suddenly whipped her face around to look at me. “It was nice to meet you, Luna.” She waved, not glancing at Mateo as she walked away, rushing down the pathway and leaving me and Mateo standing here.
“So…” I cleared my throat, looking at his hands that were still in his pockets. “I better head to class too.”
He didn’t move, not until I finally looked up at his face. His easygoing grin was gone, and in its place a look that made me take a step back.
“Tell me, Luna.” He advanced two steps, leaving only a few inches of space between us. “Is there a reason you’re buying food for Cardo and Chiara?”
“I—” My eyes widened, and I gripped my bag harder. “I was just…erm…I had extra, so—”
“No you didn’t.” His chest expanded on a breath. “Don’t lie to me, Luna.” His eyes narrowed on me. “Ever.”
“I...” Fuck. Why did I feel like he was seeing down into my soul and reading all of my secrets? He was exposing me with a single look and a few words. How the hell did he do that? “I’ve been…” I shuffled on the spot, trying to figure out how to word it. Hanging out with them didn’t sound right. What kind of eighteen-year-old went out of her way to hang with a seven- and four-year-old? I knew it sounded weird, but my gut was telling me they needed some normality. My shoulders drooped, my breath whooshing out of me. “I’ve been keeping an eye on them.”
“Why?” Mateo asked, his voice lower now. His finger trailed down my wrist and to my hand, hooking on to the end of my pinky finger. I felt his touch everywhere, but the look shining in his eyes—like he was being stripped bare—punched me right in the stomach.
“Because.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. I didn’t know this guy, not really, and yet it felt like I did. It felt like my soul had always been part of his. “I see the same look in their eyes that I have.”
His finger tightened on mine. “And what look is that?”
“Like…like they don’t want to go home,” I whispered.
His eyes stayed on me, analyzing the words I was saying. It was the truth. He’d told me not to lie to him, and I hadn’t. I didn’t want to go home, I never did. The only reason that I walked back in that door so many times was to make sure my mom and dad were still alive.
Mateo slowly nodded, his eyes shuttering with each of his movements. He was pulling himself back, erecting the walls that kept him safe. I knew all about those walls, so when he unhooked his finger from mine and stepped back, I knew that was all he was going to give me right then.
