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The wind whistled through the gap in the door and the leaves rustled. The ticking clock from the living room was the loudest it had ever been, and I could hear my pulse thrumming in my ear. But I had to push all of that aside to hear them. The voices were getting louder, and I could make out every few words now.
“You haven’t…answering…calls,” a new voice said. My hands started to shake, but I didn’t move. I wasn’t sure whether it was because I wanted to know who these people were, or if it was because I was scared I’d make a noise and alert them to my whereabouts.
I heard some mumbling, but could only make out the word tomorrow, and I knew it was Curtis talking now. He said something else, but I couldn’t make it out, and then the shadows moved again, getting bigger as they came closer to the sliding doors. I panicked and slapped my hand over my mouth as I quickly backed out of his room and closed the door.
Pressing my back against the hallway wall, I listened as he closed the sliding door and gritted out, “Fuck.” His footsteps echoed from inside, and it was only about a minute later when I could still hear them that I realized he was pacing. He was talking under his breath, but with the door and walls separating us, all I could make out now was the odd curse word.
I frowned and looked down at my feet, at least, I thought it was where my feet were because I couldn’t see them over the bump. No one had ever come to the cabin, and Curtis had never mentioned anyone.
I held my fist in front of his door. If I knocked and asked who it was, he’d know I was listening. And what if it was private? Or maybe it was his secret. They said he hadn’t been answering calls. Maybe I was holding him back from a life he had to get back to, and whoever had come here was
telling him to go home.
Was this my fault? Was he waiting to start a job? Or maybe his mom missed him. He said his dad was a businessman, so was he needed to help him?
I lowered my hand and bit down on my bottom lip. I’d thought coming here would make my life easier. I’d escaped the pain that had smacked me in the face and knocked me completely off my feet, but I hadn’t counted on it following me. It was harder being away from the people who loved me most, but I hadn’t factored in the way Curtis felt.
And as I stood there, knowing I was holding him back, I couldn’t bring myself to confront him about it. If I opened the conversation now, everything could fall apart, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.
But then, I wasn’t ready for this baby, and it was coming whether I liked it or not. So maybe this was the first thing I needed to tackle. Maybe this would be the first step into my journey out of hiding.
My feet inched backward, my body telling me not to do it tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow I could ask Curtis if he needed to go home, but tonight…tonight I’d pretend everything was right in the world, and I’d go back to my bed full of pillows.
Chapter Three
BELLE
I placed my feet on the ottoman in front of the dark-brown leather sofa and pulled the book closer to my face as I read about colic in babies. I had no idea what colic was, but apparently, it was a bad thing. This was just one of many things I’d been enlightened to while reading the pregnancy and baby books. The books had consumed me from the time I woke up this morning, and now it was late afternoon, and I was still only a quarter way through all of the information I needed to take in.
Curtis hadn’t come out of his bedroom yet, but I’d heard the water running about ten minutes ago, which meant he was getting ready for work. I wasn’t even sure he was aware I was still here, but I hadn’t moved from my spot for at least two hours now, and a bathroom break would be needed real soon.
I flipped the page and came to a diagram of a mother burping a baby, and I wondered how old these books actually were from the dated graphics. But I was sure it didn’t matter the age because a baby was a baby, and things surely couldn’t have changed that much.
A door opened in the cabin and footsteps neared. Curtis appeared in the doorway to the living room. He halted, and I glanced up at him. “What are you doing?” he asked.
I held up the book, which had a picture of a baby in the womb on the front cover, acting like this was any other day. But it wasn’t. I was ready to talk to him about the future and what would happen from here on out. I was ready to face things head-on and not keep burying my head in the sand. At least I hoped I was ready. “Reading about babies.” I shuffled to the edge of the sofa. “I didn’t realize the number of things I needed to know.”
Curtis raised his brows and moved closer, but still kept his distance. His hair was wet, and he’d pushed it off his face, but the longer length would soon be curling around his ears as it dried. “Like what? Changing diapers?”
“They actually have a section on that in here.” I chuckled, trying to distract myself from the thoughts in my head that were screaming to ask him who he was talking to last night. I couldn’t just blurt it out. “They have pros and cons to disposable and washable diapers.” I pulled a face and shivered as I remembered reading about how to wash used diapers. “I’m using disposable because gross.”
Curtis screwed up his nose. “Erm, yeah.” He shook his head. “How was your appointment yesterday?”
“Good.”
He nodded and walked into the kitchen. I didn’t expect anything else from him because he didn’t talk about the baby, or the pregnancy, or who the baby’s dad was. If he didn’t say it out loud, then it wasn’t happening—that was what I had wanted. But ever since yesterday, I realized it wasn’t realistic or mature. I was acting like the kid I’d been and not the adult I’d become.
I had to face reality, and it needed to start now.
“So…” I closed the book and placed it on top of the pile on the coffee table. “I heard some voices last night.” I was careful not to look him in the eyes, but I didn’t know why. Maybe I was scared of what I would find if I did.
“You did?” His voice was closer now, and when I looked up, I saw his back was to me, so maybe he didn’t want me to look into his eyes either.
“Yeah.” I left that hanging in the air as he opened the refrigerator and pulled something out. “I had to go to the bathroom and heard someone. I couldn’t make out what you were all saying, but…I just wondered…”
Curtis blew out a breath, his back expanding and his shoulders bunching up to his ears. “Who it was?”
“I…yeah,” I whispered. I clutched my hands in my lap, feeling the nerves rolling through me, and the baby kicked, almost as if it felt them too. “It’s okay if you don’t want to—”
