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That word causes shivers to roll through me like I’ve just caught a chill. “I don’t know, they’re taking her for scans now.”
“Fuck,” he chokes, throwing his head back as he grips his hair in his hands. His gaze meets mine and something crosses his features before he pushes his shoulders back and says, “Let’s stay positive until we hear the results.”
The laugh that escapes me sounds hollow. “She can’t feel her legs, Tris. The results won’t change the way I feel about her, I’m not going anywhere, but… shit! She might not be able to walk again.”
The cold hard truth of it all is a big burden to bear, so I can’t imagine what she was feeling when she couldn’t move. The simple use of our body is something we all take for granted, and just like that it was so easily taken away from her.
“You can’t think like that, not until we find out more.”
I lean my head back against the wall as I mull over what Tris said. He’s right, I have to try and be strong for her; no matter how much it’s killing me inside.
“I know it’s not easy, me more than anyone can sympathize with that,” he adds.
“No, you’re right.” I clear my throat and stand up, noticing for the first time that Harm is standing a few feet away, crying silent tears. “I can’t break while she’
s the one going through all this.”
Tris looks up at her and stands, walking over and scooping her into his arms.
“Why don’t you guys go home?” The words are out of my mouth before I’ve even thought about me having no one here for support, but I need to be alone right now.
Harm pulls away from Tris, wiping at her eyes. “No, I’m fine, honestly.”
“I’m off work until next week and Maya is taken care of. I have nowhere else to be but here, but you guys both have jobs, the kids, and a life to get on with.”
“The kids are with Tilly. And with Sarah and Willow at the studio now I have more time on my hands.”
I sigh. “Harm?”
“Yeah?”
“Go home, you look tired.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You look more tired.”
I chuckle softly before looking at Tris. I don’t need to say anything because he knows what I’m thinking as he nods and faces Harm. “Come on, we’ll go home and see the kids and come back tomorrow.”
She huffs out a breath before turning toward me. “We’ll bring you a change of clothes in the morning, but you need to eat something.”
The doors to the ICU swing open and Carl walks out, eyeing each one of us up, his gaze landing on me. “I said I’d keep you informed so I’m going to go and meet with the detectives now.” Sadness flashes through his gaze before he clears his throat and it’s gone as quick as it was there. “Need to keep my mind busy.”
I nod and he pats my shoulder as he walks past us and down the hallway.
“Eat something,” Tris says before pulling me in for a hug and patting me on the back.
He pulls away and Harm replaces him, squeezing me tightly. “I’m optimistic,” she tells me softly against my chest before stepping back.
I can’t muster up more than a small smile as they say their goodbyes and leave me alone in the hallway.
I slide down the wall again and hang my head in my hands, going over everything I could’ve done differently. I know it won’t do anybody any good, but I can’t help it. I could’ve stopped her from leaving. I should’ve stopped her from leaving. If I had, maybe she wouldn’t be in this position right now.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here before the nurse who put Amelia to sleep walks out of the ICU and jumps at seeing me in front of the doors.
With a hand over her chest, she whisper-shouts, “You frightened me!”
I chuckle mirthlessly and stand up. “Sorry, I was in my head.”
A sympathetic look crosses her face before she says, “She’s back in her room if you’d like to go in.”
