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I wasn’t ready.
What if Max was there, just waiting for me to come outside of the gates? He was unpredictable when he was angry, and this time he’d had time to think about what he was going to do to me. There was no telling to what he had planned for me now.
For the first time I genuinely feared for my own safety.
“I’ve got stuff to-”
“Is this because of what just happened?”
“What? N-”
“If it’s all too soon then-”
“Ty, it’ not that,” I said twisting my fingers.
“What is it then?”
“The gates.” I croaked.
He widened his stance crossing his arms, arms that had been around me not long ago. I stared at the way his muscles tensed, at the veins that popped and the tattoos that always mesmerized me. When my eyes made it back up to his I saw the realization cross his face.
“You haven’t been outside those gates since-”
“I’m not ready,” I whispered.
He raised his brows. “You need to do it now, or you never will,” I shook my head.
I just need time. Just a little more time.
“Eli.” One word, that was all it took for me to take a deep breath and push up off the door “He wants you to take him to preschool, Kay.”
“I know.” I nodded and chewed on my bottom lip.
Could I do this?
“I’ll be there with you sweetheart,” his voice softened.
I never doubted that he would be there, but that didn’t stop the images that flew through my head.
Shaking my head I held my hand out for the radio and clipped it onto my belt.
The belt that I had reached for when Max-
“Good girl.”
I scrunched my eyes shut and choked out “Don’t… call me that.”
“Kay?”
I couldn’t look at him. If I did and it wasn’t his face staring back at me then I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same again.
“Sweetheart?”
I shook my head and turned to the door “Just don’t ever call me that again, please”
“I-”
“Let’s go.” I said pulling the door open and pushing the ear piece into my ear.
