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I watch her, not knowing what to say or do. “Tell me,” I say, my voice hoarse. “Tell me what I can do to make it better.”
“Get him off me,” she says, tears falling from her eyes and down her cheeks.
Dropping the sponge at the bottom of the tub, I lift my hands to her face, swiping the tears away with my thumbs. “I have, baby. I’ve washed-”
“No.” She shakes her head violently, hiccuping on a sob. “He’s still... there.”
“What?” I ask, a frown on my face. “He’s still where?”
I watch her neck move on a swallow as she turns away, focusing on a spot on the wall. “There,” she says, pointing between her legs.
My body stiffens and I’m speechless. I know the silence isn’t what she wants but she hasn’t yet given a full statement because she can’t get through the whole thing without having an episode. Which means I still don’t know what happened in that alley.
No one does.
We keep getting bits and pieces from what she says when she’s in one of her episodes or from what she mentions in passing.
My jaw clenches as I realize what she’s saying and I try to push all of my rage down but it’s hard. So fuckin’ hard.
“Did he...” I grit out, not being able to say the rest.
“He... he... he... only pushed it in once... that’s when I shot him.” She turns her head slightly towards me but doesn’t look me in the eyes.
Placing my thumb and pointer finger on her chin, I turn her face to mine, resting my forehead against hers. “I can take him away,” I whisper.
Her head moves against mine as she nods, her eyes falling closed. “Yeah,” she sobs, shifting closer to me. “Take it all away, Corey.”
I grip her head in my hands and pull away, making sure she’s looking at me. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I run my hands down the side of her neck and down to her shoulders.
“Yeah,” she whispers.
I stand up, pulling her with me and step out of the tub, turning to quickly turn off the shower. Lifting her out, I hold her against my chest as she wraps her legs around me. She dips her head into my neck as I walk us to the bedroom and slam the door shut behind us.
“I love you,” he whispers, his body covering mine as he thrusts inside me, his forehead against mine.
I look into his eyes and swallow back the sob that wants to break free. It’s something I’ve never said but right now is the perfect time to say just how I feel.
“I love you too,” I say back, my eyes closing as his body covers every inch of me. “So much,” I croak, the lump in my throat getting bigger.
“You can fly now,” he whispers. “Fly free, Birdie, and wherever you fly, I’ll always follow.”
I turn to face the hospital as a shiver rolls through me, remembering the last time I was here.
I really don’t want to go back inside that place but I know I don’t have a choice. I need to get my last lot of blood results and then I can be done with it all. I won’t have to think about it ever again and with him gone for good, I can concentrate on building a life without having to worry about him breathing the same air as me.
I push out of the car and meet Corey at the front, snuggling into his side as he pulls me closer.
I walk slower, dragging my feet because I really don’t want to go back in there.
“It’ll be fine,” Corey whispers in my ear. “We’ll be in and out in thirty minutes.”
“Really?” I ask, pulling a face.
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “Daley called in a favor, we should be able to go straight in.”
He was right, we didn’t even sit down before I was called in to the doctor’s office.
“How are you doing, Ava?” he asks once we’re sat down opposite him, his eyes flicking from me then back down to the folder that he’s opened.
