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My footsteps are slow as I walk up to the main house, needing to take my time and gather my thoughts before I enter the session. I can already feel the weight of it all resting on my shoulders and I itch to take some pills to quiet the voices in my head.
I pull open the glass doors and walk through the sunroom before heading down the sunny hallway as I’ve taken to calling it and down to Yvonne’s office.
My hand lifts and I knock twice before pushing the door open.
“Kitty.” She smiles, turning in her seat and extending her arm to the sofa opposite her. “Take a seat.”
My eyes wander over her, dressed in a dark blue skirt and cream button-up shirt. Her glasses on top of her dark brown hair.
“Thanks,” I say, sitting down and placing my hands in my lap.
“How are you feeling today?”
“A solid seven,” I tell her, looking up and offering her a small smile.
“That’s great,” she says, clapping her hands. “We’ve talked about your addiction, about your childhood, now I think it’s time to start talking about what life will be like when you get out of here in four weeks.”
“Yeah.” I grip my hands harder, making my knuckles turn white from the force.
“It’s very important that you be prepared for when you go home, the cravings will become worse when you’re back home and you need a support network around you. Do you have that?”
I worry my bottom lip with my teeth as I take a deep breath. “I think so.”
“You have friends where you work, right?”
“Yes, but…”
She waits for me to continue but when I don’t she prompts me by saying, “Is there something you need to talk about, Kitty?”
“No, yes.” I blow out a breath. “I don’t know.”
She crosses her legs and sits back, moving some of her brown hair behind her ears. “How about you start from the beginning?”
I nod silently, looking down at my hands. “His name is Charlie.” I clear my throat. “He and I met when I first moved to town, I didn’t know he was Ty’s older brother.” I look up. “Ty is my boss.”
“Okay.”
“We were… erm… together in the sexual capacity, but he wouldn’t commit. Recently he said he wanted to make us public but it was while I was on the pills and… I don’t know, that time feels fuzzy, almost like a dream.”
“But he wanted it to become serious?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I frown. “But there’s so much heartbreak in his past that I’m not sure whether he really wanted to be with me or not.”
“He’s your weakness,” Yvonne muses.
My head shoots up and my brows draw down into a frown. “I don’t have a weakness.”
She smiles softly and leans forward, clasping her hands together on her lap.
“Family sessions will be coming up soon,” she says, ignoring my comment. “I think you should ask Charlie to come.”
“No.” I shake my head emphatically. “I can’t see him, not yet.”
She leans back in her seat, a smile on her face that tells a thousand words. “And that right there, that reaction, that’s the reason why you need to do this before you get back home. You need to tackle the problems you have so that when you leave here, you’re more than prepared.”
I let my head fall back as I look up at the ceiling, the breath leaving my body at the thought of Charlie being here, with me.
I adjust the bulletproof vest on my chest as I get out of the truck, another ten officers following me out. We’ve been taking down cartel members since 6 a.m. this morning, closing down several deals and arresting about forty men. This is our last one, the only one that Fernando will be at with Gianna.
