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She chuckles then smacks my chest. We’re silent for several minutes before Yvonne clears her throat and I startle, forgetting that she was here the whole time.
“I think this was good for you, for both of you,” she says, raising her brows at me.
“Yeah,” I say, turning my body to face her and taking Kitty’s hand in mine. “I think I need to remember them instead of trying to forget them.”
Yvonne closes her notepad, standing up. “Go take a couple of hours; talk, sit, just be yourselves.”
I watch her walk out of the room and then turn to Kitty, not wasting any time to slam my lips down onto hers and showing her exactly how she makes me feel.
I rest my head against his chest, relishing in the beat of his heart.
He steadies me, makes me feel like I’m me and not that girl I used to be. We’ve talked about so many things over the last couple of hours but not once have either of us brought up the future, about where we’re going to go from here.
I don’t want to talk about it because I can’t be sure what will happen when I get out of here. I need to make sure that I won’t get to that place again, the one I was at before I came here.
“Kitty?” He pulls back, framing my face in his hands and pressing his lips against mine in a sweet, gentle kiss. “We need to talk about what will happen when you come home.”
I pull back, wrapping my arms around my stomach, my shoulders drooping.
“Don’t do that,” he practically growls. “Don’t try to disappear, you’ll never be able to do that with me.”
“I’m not—”
“You are and I’m telling you now, Kitty Kat.” He steps forward. “I see you… I see you.”
“I…” I look away, not able to handle the fire in his eyes. “I can’t tell you what will happen when I come back, I can’t promise anything, Charlie.”
I look back to him in time to see his face drop and his eyes clouding over with sadness, but no sooner than it’s there, it’s gone.
“That’s okay,” he whispers. “I’ll wait for you, Kitty Kat.” He pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me. “I’ll wait for you until my last dying breath.”
I let him hold me, trying to remember what it’s like to be in his arms, what he smells like and how he makes me feel because I’m afraid that when I’m out of here that he won’t be waiting, no matter how much he says he will. There’s always that voice in my head telling me that I’m not enough for him.
He steps away from me when a cab pulls up and places his thumb on my chin, tilting my head back and bringing his lips to mine before saying, “I’ll be waiting for you, baby.”
I close my eyes, not willing to watch him get in the cab and drive away because I don’t think I have the strength right now not to jump into the cab with him. And I can’t do that, I need to finish up the last two weeks and gain all the strength that I need so that I can face the outside world.
I step out of the airport, breathe in the fresh air and close my eyes. There’s nothing like the feeling of home and that’s exactly what this place is, home.
The last eight weeks have been hard, so hard that at times I thought it was impossible to beat the addiction that I had. I realize now that I was an addict, and just because a doctor prescribes you something, doesn’t mean that they’re any less dangerous than anything else out on the streets.
I’ve learned so much over the past eight weeks, I’ve come so far, not just in my addiction but within myself too. I’ve trained more than I would have at home and my arm is now back to full working order, the way it was before I got shot and without the help of pills. My body is clean of everything and I honestly can’t remember a time where I’ve felt so much like me.
I thought stepping out of the rehab center would be the end of me, that I wouldn’t be able to cope without being in a place where I couldn’t get any pills, but I feel good right now. I’m under no illusion that things won’t be hard, because they will, I know that, but having the things I’ve learned in place and people around me who care, I know I can do this.
I know now that I need my family around to help me, and that includes Charlie.
I hold my hand out for a cab and jump in the back with my duffle bag in tow and tell him where I want to go.
He nods in acknowledgement and pulls away from the curb, not saying another word. Pulling out my mirror, I check myself out.
My face has filled back out thanks to the regular healthy meals and the whole, no taking pills thing. My hair desperately needs to be redone as my roots are ridiculous, but right now I don’t care because the smile on my face pulls all of my attention.
I’m happy to be home and I can’t wait to start my life again, to get back to who I am and what I want. To do what I was put on this earth to do and be with the one person who gets me.
The cab comes to a stop and I hand him some bills, stepping out and looking up at the precinct. I take a calming breath and step forward, pushing inside and heading straight to the front desk. Geena looks up when I ring the bell, her eyes widening. “Kitty! You’re back.”
“I am,” I chuckle. “But no one knows yet.” I try to convey to her not to say anything with my eyes, and when she gets what I’m trying to say, she gasps.
