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Things with Evan happened so fast a few days ago, and although I don’t regret what we did, what I do regret is doing it so soon.
What if all he wanted was a one-night thing? What if that’s all I am to him?
But then I think about him asking me out afterward. Surely he wouldn’t do that if he only wanted one night, right?
I’m teetering, this way and that way, not knowing what to think but knowing exactly how I feel.
He’s the only person that I’ve felt like myself around; I can see myself telling him things that I never told anyone else before. This feels... different.
I think anything would feel different compared to the couple of teenage fumbles I had: none of which made me feel anything like what he did. I thought I was going to burst out of my own body because of all of the sensations that ran through me.
I shiver thinking about it now, my eyes starting to close automatically as I sit on the bench in front of the community center before I make my way home.
Leaning back, I lift my hand to my lips, running my fingers over them and remembering how his lips felt against mine. The way he would rush and then slow right down, pouring everything into one single kiss.
“Lexi?” My eyes pop open at the shouting voice and I se
arch for where it came from. I catch sight of a woman as she turns and says, “It is Lexi!” Her hand extends in the air, waving wildly as she looks both ways before jogging over the road with the someone behind her.
When they get closer, I realize that it’s Kay and Kitty from where Evan works. I sit up, straightening my back and wave.
“Hey.”
“Hey!” Kay leans down and wraps her arms around me before stepping back and smiling wide. “How are you?”
“I…” I bite my bottom lip. “I’m really good.”
“Uh huh.” She grins and turns to Kitty who steps forward, sitting on the bench beside me and turning to face me.
“So…” Kitty’s eyes flick between mine. “How well do you know Evan?”
Whatever happened to small talk?
My eyes flit down, scared that they’ll be able to read me like an open book. I have no idea if Evan wanted to keep it secret: I really should have asked.
“I… We work together sometimes.” I shrug, bringing my eyes back up to hers as hers narrow.
I have no idea what is happening here, but I’m guessing that they’re pretty close to Evan. I don’t want to offend them: I don’t even know them.
They’re both silent for several minutes as they watch me before Kay gasps, her hand flying to her mouth.
“Oh my God! Have you two…” She raises her brows up and down.
“I… What?” I stand up, trying to put a front on of being outraged while inside I’m shaking in my boots. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I step forward, picking all my bags up and walk across the grass that lines the front of the community center. I feel so lost and out of my element here. The last time I had two women talk to me like this, it was under false pretenses and I ended up with a black eye, broken nose, and two cracked ribs.
I start to walk faster as memories assault me; I don’t want to be in that headspace, not here, not now.
I hear footsteps approaching me from behind quickly but I ignore them and continue walking, only it’s not until I get to the end of the street that I realize I’ve gone the wrong way. I spin around, almost bouncing off Kay who is standing right behind me, trying to get my attention.
“Lexi? We’re not…” She flits her eyes between mine. “I’m sorry, it’s none of our business.”
“Hey! I want to know if they’ve had sex!” Kitty shouts, the sound echoing.
“Oh my God, shhhhhh.” My head whips side to side, making sure no one has heard, but when I see Geena standing in the police precinct parking lot, I start to panic.
She may be about forty feet away, but I can see her eyes narrowing on me. Shit, does she know? The last thing I need is a police officer to know about us, especially when that police officer is Evan’s ex-girlfriend. I don’t want anyone to have an excuse to cause me trouble, not here, not in the first place that feels like home since living with Gran.
