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BECKETT: Leave off with it. You’re getting on my nerves now.
JOHN CLARE: Then I’ll beg your pardon. You have feelings for her still yourself?
BECKETT: Not of a carnal nature, no, though once I did. If I am to be truthful, back in those days it was only carnal feelings that I had, though that was not her understanding of the matter. Presently I go to visit her as often as I can. I love her in a way, but not the way she wants. I don’t know why I go so much, to be completely honest.
JOHN CLARE: Could it be you pity her?
BECKETT: No, I don’t think that that’s entirely it. She’s happy in her own way. It might very well be that she’s happier than me. In fact, I would have difficulty in believing it were otherwise, so, no, it isn’t pity. I suppose I feel I owe her something. When I met her I was callous and I couldn’t bring myself to see that she was drowning. I could have done more, that’s all I’m saying. Or I could have done less. One way or the other. It’s too late now.
JOHN CLARE: So it’s guilt, then?
BECKETT: I expect it is. I often find it’s guilt that’s at the bottom of a thing.
JOHN CLARE: I tend to share that point of view myself.
WIFE: What did you mean, it wasn’t all one-sided?
HUSBAND: I thought that you didn’t want me speaking to you.
WIFE: Don’t be clever. You’re not clever, Johnny. The last thing you are is clever. Tell me what you meant when you said that it wasn’t all one-sided.
HUSBAND: I meant it was a duet. It was a tango. Flanagan and Allen. It was something that took two is what I’m saying to you. Why must you be all the while so dense?
WIFE: So it was something that she wanted, that’s the gist of it?
HUSBAND: It is! That is the very crux of things, the fulcrum of the subject: it was something that she wanted.
WIFE: Oh, well, that’s all right then, I suppose.
HUSBAND: [Sighs, relieved.] I knew that you’d come round.
WIFE: How did you know?
HUSBAND: That you’d come round? Oh, well, I know you can’t stay angry with me very long …
WIFE: [Slowly and deliberately.] How did you know that it was something that she wanted? Is that what she told you? Did she say “It’s something that I want”?
HUSBAND: Not in as many words, no. No, she didn’t. But …
WIFE: Well, what words did she use, then? What words did she use when she told you that it was something that she wanted?
HUSBAND: Well, it wasn’t words as such. She didn’t tell me through the medium of words.
WIFE: [Increasingly angry.] Well, what? Interpretive dance, was it? Did she mime it for you?
HUSBAND: [Sounding trapped and uncomfortable.] It was signals.
WIFE: Signals?
HUSBAND: Little signals. You know what it’s like, how women are.
WIFE: I’m not sure that I do.
HUSBAND: The signals they give out. The little looks and glances, all of that. She was forever smiling at me, cuddling up to me and telling me she loved me …
WIFE: [Horrified, shouting in rage.] Well, of course she was! Of course she’d do that! Johnny, you’re her father!
BECKETT: Ah, Christ. There you have it.
