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“Not exactly.” Lily looked down at her feet. “She’s been busy, like I said.”
“Doing what?” Rowan asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Lily shrugged, feeling stupid. She’d been sharing so much with Lillian but she hadn’t bothered to ask what Lillian had been up to in return. Lillian had seemed so busy, and there were times when Lily could feel that she was in pain.
“Why would you do that? Why would you tell her?” Rowan looked concerned, rather than upset.
“Because no one else gets it,” Lily said, looking away. “No one else knows what it feels like.”
“What what feels like?” he persisted.
A lump formed in her throat, and for the life of her she couldn’t say the words aloud. An image of Tristan running across the burning plain to face the Hive welled up and set her eyes stinging before she could stuff it back down.
“I can’t,” she said in a strangled voice.
The numbness she had been forcing on herself evaporated, and anger surged through her. She was angry with herself, and Rowan. She met his eyes and he felt her wave of rage hit him, real and palpable as it had been in the ballroom. He took a stumbling step back as if she’d physically pushed him.
“We should get back inside,” Juliet said urgently. She was looking at the sky.
Lily tilted her head and saw dark shapes starting to circle above. Even from a distance, she could feel the air shivering with the hum of their wings. The Hive was coming in response to Lily’s anger.
Rowan took a protective step toward her and pulled up short, remembering he wasn’t to touch her. “Go,” he said, motioning to the trapdoor. “And try to calm yourself.”
Lily scrambled down it after Juliet, and rushed across the empty room. She felt Rowan only a few steps behind her as she threaded her way back through the dusty attic and down the stuffy corridor.
They made it back to their rooms without anyone in the villa spotting them. Lily wondered whether it mattered that the Hive had seen them on the roof or not. Was getting angry on a rooftop in the middle of the night enough to get them detained somehow? Lily couldn’t imagine that was true. The Hive would constantly be overreacting to normal things like toddler tantrums if that were the case.
Who decided what was normal around here?
Back in their rooms, Rowan and Juliet showed the rest of the coven what they had seen, but no one had any new thoughts on the speaking stones.
We’ll see what we can learn tomorrow when we go looking around, Caleb said. Lily, can you ask Toshi if he knows anything about them?
I can try, she replied. But he may not be able to tell me the truth. Toshi is as trapped here as we are.
As everyone is in Bower City, Rowan added. Do you think Toshi would let you claim him?
They were shocked by Rowan’s question, Lily most of all. It’s illegal here, she said needlessly.
Rowan huffed with impatience. Toshi wants to be a part of this coven, and he’s powerful. If something goes wrong and they don’t let us leave, we’re going to need a lot more mechanics than just the six of us to have any chance of fighting our way out of here.
Caleb and Una agreed with him.
I didn’t think you’d want me to claim him, Lily said.
Why? My first responsibility is to protect you. That’s all I’ve ever tried to do.
Lily didn’t have a response. A part of her wanted him to be jealous.
There wasn’t much of the night left, but the coven decided to go back to bed for the rest of it. As Lily approached her door she heard Rowan behind her. Again, he stopped a few paces away from her, and now that they were alone, only addressed her aloud.
“Have you asked her what she’s going to do?” Rowan didn’t have to say Lillian’s name. Lily knew whom he meant.
“She’s blocking me right now,” Lily replied quietly. “But I will. It was stupid of me to not ask before.”
“How often do you mindspeak with her?” he asked gently.
“I don’t know,” Lily replied. She sighed, suddenly feeling bone tired. “I don’t notice I’m doing it most of the time. I just start talking.”
