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Lily felt backed against a wall. For a moment she blocked everyone out but Juliet—the only person she felt safe enough to tell this to. What if I don’t want to claim him? What if I can’t do this anymore? I don’t want to be a leader anymore.
Lily saw possibilities racing through Juliet’s mind. Without more claimed, they were stuck in Bower City with no hope of escape. Juliet tried to picture what that would be like. She pictured the pretty gowns and the endless galas. It was the spitting image of a fairy ball where all the revelers were forced to dance until their
feet bled. Juliet tried to imagine what it was like to never again be allowed to feel anger.
And without anger, Juliet said, how can anyone truly grieve? We’re all frozen inside, pretending we’re okay because none of us can get angry, so none of us can get over Tristan’s death. Least of all you. I know you doubt yourself and I know you’re hurting. I’ll give you ten seconds to wallow, and then you fight like hell to claim Toshi. I’m not living the rest of my life in a prison, and I’ll be damned if I let you do that, either.
Lily smiled to herself, some of the pressure she felt lifting off her as her sister took the weight. Okay, Juliet. Consider my butt properly kicked.
You’re welcome.
“Can you see what they’re seeing right now?” Toshi asked as he watched Lily’s broadening smile with curiosity. “Are you everywhere they are?”
“I could be, but I try to go one at a time or it gets confusing. When more than one person is sharing memories or images with me there’s a strange reverb effect.”
Lily remembered Rowan teaching her how to make a mind mosaic. The stereovision had been overwhelming, exhilarating, and in Lily’s opinion, morally wrong when done without her claimed knowing she was doing it.
“Re-what?” Toshi asked.
“Reverb. Short for reverberation?” It was a word from her world. Lily cringed inwardly and tried to cover for her slip. “You don’t use that word out west?”
Toshi shook his head. “But I think I can picture what you’re saying.” He looked down at the glass of champagne in front of him. “But what do I know? It could be something completely different from what I’m imagining. I’ve never been in anyone else’s head. The way I see blue might not even be the way you see blue.”
“It is,” Lily said. “Blue is blue and red is red for all of us. I’ve claimed thousands and it’s the same.” She rethought that. “Except for the color-blind.”
“Thousands,” he breathed. “You’ve claimed that many?”
The smallest smile tilted her lips while she held Toshi’s eyes. “Yes,” she replied.
“That’s an army.”
“An army I left behind.” Lily tugged her lower lip through her teeth and took a chance. “Unfortunately,” she whispered.
Toshi looked fearfully at the flowers on the table. “Is there a limit to how many you can claim?”
“If there is, I haven’t reached mine.”
Toshi swallowed. “Claiming must be boring for you at this point.”
“Boring?” Lily shook her head slowly. “Never.”
Toshi was leaning into the table. His willstone slipped free of his collar and swung toward Lily as if beckoned. She did want to claim him, no matter what the cost. It was a craving she would never be free of, no matter how many she lost, or how deeply she felt the loss of one in particular. This was her sickness. A never-ending hunger to claim the whole world.
A squad of Warrior Sisters is leaving the watchtowers, heading east over the wall, Rowan reported.
If we could get higher, we could see where they’re going, Caleb added. He shared what he was seeing.
Lily saw Rowan trying to mount one of the few switchback staircases built into the perimeter wall. A Warrior Sister flew down and prevented him. Hovering, she flicked her whip and buzzed her wings. Her bulbous eyes shimmered rainbow-over-black—unreadable.
We’ll have to try something else, but there aren’t that many vantage points in the city that overtop the wall, Rowan said.
Roof of the Governor’s Villa, Lily suggested. Una and Breakfast, hurry.
Toshi leaned back and motioned to the server for the check. “You’re with them again,” he said, irritated.
“I can block them out—” She could feel Una and Breakfast racing through the villa, silent and swift.
“No, don’t bother.” He pursed his lips. “It’s better if we drop the subject, anyway.”
