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“It should be what we both want, Jeff,” she argues, and they move off by themselves to hush whisper—which is their form of arguing. I wince. That feeling that Katie is making a mistake hits me again.
“I think they may have some issues,” Reed says. I look up, surprised to find him standing beside me.
“Yeah, Jeff is dealing with a lot right now,” I murmur, looking over at him, worried.
“You don’t think they should get married, do you?” I force my gaze back to Reed and sigh.
“Jeff loves Katie completely,” I compromise. “He’d do anything to make her happy and she loves him…”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Yes, I want the best for Katie….”
“Then, why do you look so worried?”
I shrug, not wanting to talk about it. Maybe I’m just being silly. It’s not really my business. “It’s nothing,” I answer finally.
“You have that look, so I know it’s something, honey.”
Shivers move over my body. It’s a throwaway word in this sense. I doubt that Reed even realizes that he called me honey. It reawakens memories of the past, though. I fight them and push them down because that part of my life is dead. I let Reed go five years ago. I’m not stupid. I know that is final. He’s no longer in my hemisphere. Besides, I’m still just as broken as I was when he left—maybe more so.
“Katie loves him, but I’m not sure she loves him in the way Jeff deserves,” I finally say, pushing away the past in my head.
“That must be girl speak,” he laughs.
I smile and nod. “It probably is. I’m just silly.”
“Sorry about that. Are we ready to go?” Katie interrupts, walking back over to where we are. My gaze automatically moves to Jeff. He gives me a tight smile.
“We’re ready,” I reply. I feel obligated to turn and look at Reed. “It was great seeing you again, Reed.”
“You, too, Callie. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“You will?” I ask, surprised and really confused.
“For the actual rehearsal?” he says, and I feel heat bloom over my face.
“Oh, yeah,” I laugh self-consciously. “Sorry.”
“I’ll see you then,” he says.
I nod, getting inside the van before I make an even bigger fool of myself. I watch through the window as Katie hugs Reed goodbye. For a brief minute, I’m jealous. I wish I could have hugged him without feeling weird and awkward.
I hate that I apologize so much. I hate that I feel so weird with Reed. It shouldn’t be that way. When you’ve shared as much of a history as Reed and I have, it should be easier. Shouldn’t it? I don’t allow myself to look back as we pull away. Instead, I concentrate on gaining control of my emotions. That’s the only thing I can do. Still, my emotions are haywire. I have a feeling they are going to stay that way as long as Reed is in town.
CHAPTER 11
Reed
I climb into bed, pull the covers up, and switch the light off. I lay here in the quiet, not sure what to do. I’m so used to catching a nap on the tour bus that the silence right now is deafening. My mind is swirling in a million directions. Seeing Callie tonight was different than I imagined. She was like a completely different person.
Except for that moment when we were alone. It was just a single moment, but there were no guards up between us, no wariness in her eyes. It was then that I recognized flashes of the woman who used to own my heart. Hell, I don’t even have a heart anymore. Once, long ago, I told Junie—the closest friend that I’ve made since leaving Macon—that Callie was the only woman I had ever loved. I sigh, emotion heavy in my chest—emotion I’ve never really been able to erase. I let the memories wash through me, and my eyes close.
“I’m serious, Junie. If I had it to do all over again, I would have never left Texas. I would have stayed until she finally understood that we’re meant to be together.”
“You love her that much?” she asks, taking a drink from my whiskey bottle. We’re both so damn drunk the world is spinning. I hate drinking. It has never worked out for me, and I know what a fucking asshole it turned my father into. Tonight, I had to get drunk, though. Tonight, was my first big ACM award. I should be on top of the world. It’s Callie’s birthday, too—and that explains why I’m not. I called her on a whim. We hadn’t talked in months. I wanted to wish her happy birthday. She was having a party. It sounded like the place was full. She couldn’t even hear me. I hung up before she realized how pathetic I was.
“I’ve always loved Callie. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, other women ceased to exist for me.”
