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“Hey Kurt. I didn’t realize you’d be here tonight.”
“If anyone needs a rehearsal for the big day it’s the preacher. What happens if I don’t practice and call the groom or bride the wrong name?”
“Has that happened?”
“Not yet,” he says with a wink. “I always attend rehearsals.”
I laugh, as I’m sure I’m intended to do. “You have a point.”
“Of course, I do. Can you imagine what would happen if I was to call Katie the name of Jeff’s old girlfriend?”
He’s joking. I know that he is, but I still frown. I don’t think Jeff ever had an old girlfriend. He’s always—always—been in love with Katie.
“Yeah.” I do my best to summon up a smile.
“I didn’t see you at the church social last Sunday,” he says, thankfully changing the subject.
“I was working,” I explain, although I’m sure both of us know that I probably wouldn’t have been there anyway. I don’t deal well with crowds. I like Kurt. He’s a great pastor, and he’s helped me find someone in their outreach for therapy which has really helped. I know that Kurt wishes I liked him differently. I just can’t. I used to wish I could—I really did. My gaze moves across the yard to where Reed is talking and laughing with Jeff and a couple other men. Now I know better than to want that. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you’re lucky in life you get one great love. Reed was definitely mine. I turned my back on that once in hopes of finding someone who could heal the emptiness inside of me. I let my own insecurities feed into anxiety, believing Reed didn’t and couldn’t truly love me. That mistake gave Mitch a license to nearly destroy us all.
Reed will never be mine, but I’m not going to even try to replace what I feel for him with someone else. I’ve learned from my mistakes. Quite frankly, there’s no room in my heart for another man. Reed is still there, and I know he always will be.
“It’s wild that Katie and Jeff managed to get the hottest country act to perform at their wedding. It’s not even my kind of music, and I’m a little starstruck.”
“You don’t listen to country music?”
“I’m more into gospel. If it doesn’t praise the Lord, there’s not a lot of point in it for me.”
“I would think God would want us to be happy, and all music has that ability.” My comment makes him smile.
“I suppose you have a point,” he concedes. “I’ve been meaning to ask if you’d like to go to the Fourth of July carnival with me?”
My heart stutters in my chest. I can’t remember the last time a guy asked me out. I wasn’t really expecting it tonight. I’m not sure if I ever expected it again. I’ve pretty well shut off that part of me completely.
“I—well—”
“Hey, Bluebird.”
I look up at Reed, surprised.
“Hey, Reed,” I answer, still slightly dazed.
“You okay?” he asks, and I see the concern on his face. There’s also something else there, but I can’t really place it. It’s probably nothing. I’m still trying to figure out how to answer Kurt.
“Yeah. Are we ready to start the rehearsal?”
“I think Katie wants to talk to you first. She’s in the house with Jeff’s mom.”
“Oh, okay. I guess it’s time we get started. Pastor Kurt, have you met Reed Lane?”
“I haven’t had the pleasure. Nice to meet you Reed, or should I call you Ryker?”
“I prefer Reed. It’s nice to meet you, Pastor. I’ve been hearing a lot about you.”
“All good I hope.”
“The Johnsons seem to like you,” Reed allows. He’s actually kind of cool to Kurt, which surprises me.
“I’ll just go see what Katie needs,” I interject. “We’ll talk soon, Kurt.”
“Sounds good and think about my invitation,” Kurt says, before turning to talk to one of Barb’s friends.
“I’ll escort you back to the house,” Reed says, his voice tight.
“Are you okay?” I ask, feeling on edge. I have no idea why, but I have the distinct impression that Reed is tense and that makes me react similar. I’m used to Reed being laid back and easygoing—or at least that is how he’s been since he came back to visit.
“What kind of invitation is the pastor talking about?” he asks, instead of giving me an answer.
“Oh, he invited me to the carnival in town for the Fourth of July,” I answer, still not sure how I’m feeling about it.
“I didn’t know you were dating someone,” Reed answers. “Does he care that you and I have been spending time together?”
“What? Oh, gosh, no. I mean, I don’t think so. We’re not dating. I think he likes me, but well, our relationship hasn’t been like that, you know?”
“Not really,” he rumbles out. I can feel him watching me as we walk toward the house. “How is your… relationship?”
