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“You really would do that, no matter how much you panic around crowds, wouldn’t you, Callie? I’ve been so hard to be around and yet you keep supporting me. I don’t deserve you.”
I smooth a make-believe wrinkle out of her dress—just to have something to keep my hands busy.
“How much hell have I put you and Jeff through and yet you are there for me constantly—even if I call at midnight in the midst of a raging panic attack from a stupid nightmare. How many times have you come out in the pouring rain just to get me under control?”
“Stop. You are doing so well these days. I’ll be honest, I thought you would have a bunch of meltdowns after Reed came back to town.”
“Well, that could still happen if he keeps talking to me like he did when we had dinner at his house,” I laugh, not exactly kidding. “But let’s get back to you and this wedding because we’re running out of time. Tell me, do you love Jeff?”
“Of course, I do.”
I nod. “Can you imagine your life without him?”
“I wouldn’t want to,” she dodges.
I hide my frown. That’s not exactly the answer a bride should say when talking about the man she is planning on spending the rest of her life with, is it?
The music outside begins, and Katie’s eyes go wide. I do my best to smile at her. “It’s going to be okay, Katie. If this is what you want and a life with Jeff is the goal, we best get out there.”
“That is the goal,” she tells me. “I love you, Callie.”
“I love you, too.”
“It’s going to be okay, right? I mean, it’s been seven years since I had Lennon. I’ve barely seen Jake. He doesn’t have to cast a shadow on me and Jeff for the rest of our lives.”
“Honey, if you are unsure at all, call Jake. Postpone the wedding and meet with Jake and tell him the truth. Get everything out in the open. Then, you can marry Jeff without anything hanging over you.”
“Callie, I can’t do that. Everyone is here. Barb has been cooking for days. Plus, Jeff deserves better than to have the woman he loves causing chaos and hurting him on his wedding day.”
I take a breath. I’ve been wanting to say this to Katie for days, and I’ve held my tongue. I can’t any longer.
“Jeff deserves a woman who loves him.”
“I do!” she interjects quickly, and I know she does, but I also know she’s not being completely honest—not even to herself.
“A woman who loves only him. Is that you, Katie?”
“Callie—”
“I’m not attacking you, honey. I’m asking because when I said I do, I did it knowing I didn’t love the man waiting on me. Maybe if I had, things would have been different.”
“Mitch was a psychopath. It’s a different situation, Callie.”
“You’re right. Jeff is completely different, thank God. But the question and the correct answer should still be the same, Katie.”
She continues to stare at me. For a minute I think she’s going to call everything off. I see it right there in her eyes—and then…it’s gone.
“I’m marrying Jeff. The two of us and Lennon are finally going to be a family.”
I nod, dread pooling in the pit of my stomach. I ignore it. This is Katie’s and Jeff’s lives. It’s not mine. They both know the problems and pitfalls. Jake doesn’t, but he hasn’t tried to find them out either. All I can do is be here for my friend and pray that she’s not going to need me.
“Then, we’d best get a move on,” I announce, exhaling to calm my nerves. There are a lot of people out there and crowds and I don’t exactly mix.
“Yeah, let’s do this,” she says, reaching out to grasp my hand and squeezing it. We walk hand in hand, stopping to stand at the open glass doors that lead to Jeff’s mom’s patio. I grin up at my friend.
“You make a beautiful bride.”
“You’re not too bad yourself, Callie.”
I roll my eyes as I look out across the yard at the wedding party.
“It’s show time.” I give her a wink and then step out.
Reed appears to my right, and I’m not above admitting my knees go weak. He’s wearing a black tux that stretches across broad shoulders. He looks at me with his crooked smile. These tiny crinkles are barely visible around his eyes and my heart stutters in my chest while butterflies take flight in my stomach.
“You look beautiful, Bluebird.”
“You’re looking pretty great yourself.”
He kisses my forehead, and I can feel heat rising on my face even as I smile. We link arms and start walking down the aisle. I can feel everyone’s eyes on us. It’s silly because it’s a wedding and was expected, but I still have to fight the panic. I can feel a fine tremble move through me as I try to gain control of myself. I hate—absolutely abhor—being like this.
