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“Sometimes your definition of important and mine are very different, R. What’s going on?”
“A close friend is getting married. I need to be there.”
“You have no friends,” she says, going for the heart.
I give a cold laugh because she’s mostly telling the truth. “I have a couple.”
“I haven’t heard about any of the band members getting married. Are you lying to me, R?”
“I have a name, you know,” I growl.
“You’ve got two. I don’t want to slip and call you Reed around people that only know you by Ryker. R is just simpler.”
“Do you consider us friends, Trisha?” I ask for the hell of it. I suppose I rely on her more than anyone. Still, I’m not sure I’d call her a friend. We don’t do dinners or holidays. I’ve never met her partner or any of her family for that matter.
“We’re the best kind,” she answers, catching me by surprise.
“What kind is that?”
“The kind that tell it like it is, don’t bullshit one another, and you only have to deal with during business hours.”
Ouch.
“Okay, then. Since business hours are about over, handle this. I don’t care how you do it. Cancel the shows altogether or just promise discounted tickets at the window and swallow the cost. Whatever it is, just do it.”
“There are times I hate you,” she growls. “Am I going to be able to find you while you take these next two weeks off?”
“You have my cell,” I respond, not about to give her any additional numbers. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had me knocked out and planted a tracking device in me somewhere. With Trisha, nothing is beyond suspicion.
“You better answer it when I call,” she warns.
“I always do,” I answer and fuck it all, I do. I once answered her call in the middle of a stomach virus when I was worshipping the porcelain throne. The damn woman was giving me instructions for my next set in between my heaving.
“Just make sure that doesn’t change. If I have to hunt your ass down, I’m not going to be happy.”
“Are you ever happy, Trisha?”
“Only when people don’t give me headaches and you, R, are always giving me a fucking headache.”
She hangs up and I stare at my cell. “The feeling is mutual, sweetheart,” I snap.
I throw my phone down on my desk and recline back, rubbing the tension from my eyes.
Why does it feel like this business is chewing me up lately? I’ve been on the top for three years, and yet, it feels like a lifetime. The pressure that comes with trying to satisfy your fans so they don’t leave you for something new and shiny, the constant demand to churn out hits, the disappointment when a project you love doesn’t hit with your listeners—it’s just all too fucking much sometimes. It was so simple when I first started. I performed for the love of it. I sung from my heart. Now?
Now I feel like a damned trained monkey.
Things are going to have to change. Maybe this wedding will give me that chance. It’s doubtful, but I can hold out hope. I’m going to go down there for the week of the wedding and the week before. I’ll probably regret that. I did it on impulse. I’m nervous about seeing Callie again after all this time. I’m also excited. I figure it will take a few days to work out the awkwardness between us, and once I face the past head on, I can just sit back and relax. Maybe shoot the shit with Jeff and Katie and feel somewhat normal again.
Here in Nashville, I’m starting to just feel like a number.
This trip back to Macon is going to be good for me. I laugh. Maybe if I tell myself that enough, eventually I’ll believe it.
CHAPTER 3
Callie
“Are you doing okay?”
“You don’t have to keep asking that, Jeff,” I murmur, giving him the best smile I can muster.
“You’re forgetting how well I know you, Cal,” he argues. “Doesn’t Katie get how hard it is for you to be in a crowd?”
“Probably not the extent of it. I try to keep it hidden. You only know because of my small meltdown.”
“Honey, if that was a small meltdown, I’d hate to see what happens if you have a full-blown panic attack.”
I look up at him and shake my head. “Let’s not talk about it anymore, okay? I want tonight to be a good night for Katie. She deserves that. We’re here to make sure she’s happy and gets the wedding of her dreams. I can handle my issues long enough for that.”
“I’ll do that if you answer me one question.”
“Shoot.”
“How do you manage being a travel nurse when you have this much trouble getting around in crowds?”
“It’s one of the main reasons I do it. I get to go to places where no one knows me. I never stay in one place too long, and because I’m a stranger, I don’t have to talk to hardly anyone other than my supervisor. I also work as a nurse in places other than a hospital and ask for night duties. It’s an easy pace and working in nursing and rehab facilities are pretty calm at night. The nationwide nursing shortage has worked in my favor.”
