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I gaze at his face. I don’t want to be that person—the one who always takes from the person they love and never gives back. I don’t want to be a responsibility to him—someone he has to worry over. I never want to be that to anyone. That’s why I work so hard to pay all my bills off and to be self-sufficient.
Reed may think he can settle here, but I know better. He was always meant for bigger and better things than me. That’s why I made the horrible choice to believe Mitch. I wanted someone who would love me—someone I wouldn’t have to give up. If I could go back, I would change that decision, but I wouldn’t change anything when it comes to Reed. I know I would have always urged him to follow his dreams—without me. I would have done it partly because I was never good enough for him, but mostly because his dreams and the life he has in Nashville are never what I wanted. In a lot of ways, he and I are like Jake and Katie. I wanted a simple life and kids.
Maybe it’s wrong, but as I look at Reed right now, I know something that I want. I want to be close to Reed again. I want to pretend for just a moment that he belongs to me.
And that I belong to him.
The cover has fallen down to his waist, and my gaze is glued to his body. He’s beautiful. So achingly beautiful that he makes my heart squeeze in my chest. Reed would probably get pissed that I describe him that way. That thought makes me smile. He is beautiful, though. Completely. Utterly. Breathtakingly beautiful.
There’s a lot of reasons why this is a bad idea, but I can’t seem to think of one that is big enough to make me stop. I may never get this chance again and I want it. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I couldn’t manage to make love with him when he was here the last time. I think I’ve healed enough that it won’t be a problem this time, at least I hope I have. It helps that it will be Reed.
It helps that I want him so much. Heck, he’s the only man I’ve ever wanted physically. God, I’m made so many wrong choices. I wish I could go back and fix them all, but I can’t. I only pray that I can somehow erase some of the pain they’ve caused… for both of us.
My heart is practically beating out of my chest. I’m full of nerves. I moisten my lips by rubbing them together and do my best to shore up my confidence. It should be easy, but it feels like I’m trying to climb Mount Everest here. I sit up on the bed as carefully as I can. I lift my shirt up and take it off. The cool air in the room hits my bare breasts and goosebumps rise over my skin. I look at Reed. This would be a lot simpler if I wasn’t such a chicken. You would think I’d grow what Jeff’s Mom refers to as ‘lady balls’, but I haven’t managed yet.
“If you think much harder, you’re going to get a headache, Bluebird,” Reed says, his voice hoarse with sleep. As I lift my gaze to his eyes, I’m pretty sure I see desire there, too. Maybe that’s what gives me the courage to tell him the truth.
“I was trying to think of a way to seduce you,” I admit quietly.
“You were?”
“Yeah. Obviously, I’m not good at it. I’m sorry.”
He turns over on his side and uses his arm to prop his head. My gaze is drawn to the way his elbow pushes into the pillow and I find myself wishing I could disappear into the pillow. I can feel heat rising in my cheeks, and my heartbeat is so erratic it’s a wonder I don’t have a heart attack.
“You should never apologize. You do it too much. You’re fucking amazing, baby.”
“Reed—”
“What stopped you?”
“Huh?”
“What stopped you from trying to seduce me?” he asks, as if we’re just passing the time of day.
Maybe talking to a naked woman with her breasts hanging out is a common occurrence. It’s definitely not for me. I raise my hand to hide my breasts, but his hand reaches out to stop me. The heat from his touch, however, seems to brand me. I fight with what I want to do and what I know Reed wants. There’s a burning intensity in the way he’s looking at me. I lick my lips as I feel the inside of my thighs growing wet. My hand may tremble a little as I take it down, but I do it, and I can see the approval on Reed’s face.
