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“Trust me, Bluebird, getting to bury my head between your legs and have you come all over my face is all I could ask for.”
“Maybe it’s not all that I want.” My hand slides under his waistband and I wrap my hand around his cock. My heart skips a beat at the feel of him. He’s so hard it must be painful. I can’t believe he wasn’t even going to ask for relief.
“You want to get me off with your hand, baby?”
“I want more than that, Reed.”
I watch surprise move over his face. His eyebrows raise almost immediately, before he smiles. “You going to give me that mouth, Bluebird?”
“Can we, I mean, I want to try—”
“Try what, honey?”
“I want to feel you inside of me, Reed,” I confess, biting down on my lip. “I know I may freeze up on you. If that happens, I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow. I want this so much and if I don’t try, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“There’s not been anyone else since….”
“Please don’t think I’m pathetic. It’s just there’s never been anyone I wanted except….” I stop talking because I feel really stupid.
“Anyone you wanted,” Reed prompts. I’m looking down at his stomach. I can’t seem to look in his face now. I hate feeling like this.
“I want you, Reed. There’s never been anyone else who could make me feel the way you do.”
He rises, his hands cradling my face, and kisses me, holding me in place while he pillages my mouth with a yearning that I can actually taste. “Fuck, Bluebird, you’re killing me here,” he groans when he finally stops so we can breathe.
“Does that mean you want this or you—”
“I’ve dreamed about being buried inside of you for longer than I ever had a right to, Callie. I more than want you, woman.”
“Good,” I sigh out, relief hitting me. “But I don’t really know where to start,” I admit.
“Well, if you don’t stop moving that smooth little hand of yours up and down on my shaft, then it won’t matter. I’ll blow my load before I ever get the chance to be between your legs.”
“Oh!” I exclaim, heat hitting my face. “I didn’t realize…” It sounds insane, but I truly didn’t know I was stroking him. I stop—even though I don’t want to. He grins, and I shake my head. “I’m not very good at this. I think I’m nervous about feeling….” I swallow.
When you have been raped and beaten, you have triggers and scars that others can’t see. You can’t even explain it to them, not really. It’s not that I don’t want to let Reed know everything. I just don’t know how. Whenever I think about telling him, my insides feel as if they are frozen.
“Trapped?” he murmurs, and I look at him in surprise.
“Yeah…”
“What if we fix it so that you’re in control?”
“Me? How would that work?”
“The first thing you have to know is that you’re safe with me.”
“I think I’ve told you I know and shown I feel that way,” I point out and somehow that beautiful smile of his spreads and deepens so that his dimples show. If I wasn’t already naked, I think that would have made my clothes melt off my body.
“Then, maybe you could help take my pants off.”
“Me?” I gulp.
“This can’t happen if I have clothes on, Bluebird. I like to think I’m good, but even I can’t make it good for you with pants on.”
“I think you could,” I disagree, and I’m not really joking. I think Reed could make anything good.
“You want me to try?”
“No. I can do this, right?”
“Definitely. I mean, you’ve been having this whole conversation completely naked and my marks on your body—”
“Oh my God,” I exhale. He grabs my hand before I can cover myself.
“And I like it that way.”
“Are you going to help me take your pants off?” I ask, deciding to divert myself from the fact that I’m completely naked.
“I can do that, but since you’re the one in control, you need to do most of the work.”
“You’re so charming. I don’t remember you being quite so cocky in our past, Reed.”
“Cut me some slack, woman,” he says, as I pull his pants down. I try to not be hypnotized by the way his hard cock bounces out and seems to strain toward me. Reed lifts up his hips to help me slide them down his legs until they’re completely off. “The woman I want—have always wanted—just told me she wants me. I’m still reeling here.”
“It wasn’t as if that was some big secret,” I retort, wondering how he can make me laugh at a time like this.
“Climb up on my lap, Bluebird.”
That familiar feeling of fear threatens to choke me, but I beat it down. I can’t let it take control now. I want this. No, that’s not it.
