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“I spent so much money hiring Jimmy Buffet to play tonight that I might have to cut back on the Cristal and start drinking Dom like a peasant. Did I tell you how much this band set me back? The Benjamins were flying when I…”
Tanner’s voice quickly blends in with the background noises in the bar, and I just stare at him in wonder… and a little bit of disgust with myself. I can’t believe this is the type of guy I’ve been wasting my time with all these years. Baby-faced fools who love the sound of their own voice the most. With soft hands because they’ve never done a hard day of manual labor in their life, and even softer personalities. Who will quickly back down when you give them any attitude, instead of just giving it right back and ordering you around when you’re being a stubborn idiot. Who will spend all night talking about themselves and never once ask you anything about yourself or what you need. Who don’t care if you’re exhausted, or overwhelmed, or happy, or sad, or if your daughter was mad about a dick party, or if you have transportation to work, or if he bought the right brand of gummy bears for a pothead.
Or who just aren’t Dean Campbell…
“…that’s why I don’t really believe in monogamy, you know?” Tanner’s voice comes back loud and clear above the noise of the bar, just as grating as nails scraping down a chalkboard. “It’s such an archaic way of life. You look like a smart, progressive woman, and I like that about you. Did you see that trending hashtag today about couples who aren’t sexually compatible because—”
“Yo, Ed!” I shout to my friend behind the bar, flagging him down with a wave, suddenly not giving a shit about being rude to Tanner. “I need a napkin and a pen.”
Ed slides a drink across the bar to a waiting customer and then grabs what I need from under it. Walking down to me, he smacks the items in front of me without a word, and I quickly grab them as he moves on to help another customer.
“That is so cute you’re writing your number on a napkin all old-school-like.” Tanner chuckles.
I roll my eyes while I finish writing on the napkin. Setting the pen down, I slide the napkin across the bar and in front of Tanner. “What does that say?”
Tanner picks up the napkin in confusion when he doesn’t see a string of numbers, shaking his head and then shrugging. “I don’t know. It’s just a bunch of scribbles.”
“For fuck’s sake, it’s cursive! How can you not read that?” I demand.
“It says ‘You’re a giant douchebag,’” Karen informs him, someone finally coming to my rescue as she leans around me.
“Sorry, Tanner, you kind of are.” Birdie smiles at him sheepishly while I try to contain my laughter. “No offense! Palmer and I absolutely adore you, but yeah. You may need to bring it down a notch with the ladies.”
“Seriously? I thought I was doing really good…,” Tanner trails off dejectedly, and that just makes me throw my head back and laugh.
I cannot believe I slept with men like this. More than once. Why didn’t someone smack the living shit out of me?
Ed is suddenly back in front of me again. My laughter quickly cuts off when he grabs my hand from the top of the bar, tugging me closer until we’re both leaning over it. He puts his cheek right next to mine and his mouth right by my ear.
“Whatever you’re doing here, you better nip it in the bud fast, kid,” he speaks quietly. “There’s a man out on my deck looking this way with murder in his eyes right now. I’m not really in the mood to clean up blood stains this evening, even if it does come from that little shit stick who snorts every time I tell him we don’t have any of that fancy-ass piss water he keeps trying to order.”
Ed drops my hand and pulls away, giving me a nod before heading to the other end of the bar.
My heart starts pounding, and my hands get sweaty, knowing damn well the man he’s referring to is Dean. Is he… jealous? Of Tanner? That thought makes me want to throw my head back and laugh again, but I decide to concentrate on the panic instead. Panic, because I like the idea of him being jealous and territorial and wanting me all for himself.
Is it hot in here all of a sudden?
I want Dean. And I want to stop assuming all of this has just been harmless flirting and doesn’t mean anything, when it does. To me. It means so much in such a short amount of time. I wish I could just embrace it and stop being afraid, but I don’t know how.
Tanner finally wanders away to leave me in peace, but that just makes the girls and Karen start in on me again, everyone giving their opinions on what they think I should do.
Think of something else. Anything else!
Grabbing my beer, I quickly bring it up to my mouth and drink. And I drink, and I drink, until there’s finally a break in everyone trying to plan out my life for me, and I smack the bottle back down on the bar when I empty it.
“I think we’re all forgetting a very important fact here,” I finally speak. “I don’t date older men!”
Even though you were just freaking out about dating younger men! Hello, Laura, younger or older, freaking pick one!
“I know math isn’t your strong suit, but he’s only three years older than you, not a decade, you dick.” Karen laughs.
It’s easy to ignore her, since I’m feeling a little bit buzzed right now from chugging the rest of that beer, along with the celebratory shot I shared with Birdie when I got here. I probably shouldn’t continue speaking, but I do.
“An older man just wants a mommy. Someone to take care of him, and put him on a pedestal, and cater to his every need, because he’s a grown-ass man-child who can’t do anything for himself. He’s set in his ways and never wants to change, and he thinks a good time is sitting on opposite ends of the couch, watching Wheel of Fortune, and then taking a nap!”
“I happen to like Wheel of Fortune.”
Tingles run down my spine just like they always do when I hear that voice behind me, along with a whole bunch of annoyance that I keep letting this happen.
