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“Tess and Bodhi’s baby? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
Now I feel really bad I haven’t replied to his text yet.
“No. Not that baby.”
The screen door to the back of the Dip and Twist—that I ever so gently closed behind me when I got here—slams open loudly right then like someone kicked it open.
“For fuck’s sake, can I shake it now?” Bodhi screams as he comes running around the corner.
“That baby.” Laura sighs again, holding the jumbo bag of Reese’s Pieces she just grabbed from the cupboard out to Bodhi when he races up to her.
With something… screaming out of the backpack-looking thing he has strapped to the front of his body. Bodhi snatches the bag of candy out of Laura’s hand and shoves a handful into his mouth as the ear-piercing wailing gets louder and louder.
“What the hell is that noise?” I wince while Laura laughs.
“That’s punishment for the dick party,” she explains, pulling what I now see is a baby doll out of the carrier strapped to the front of Bodhi. The fake baby continues to cry and wail in a robotic baby voice that is seriously fucking creepy as Laura hugs it to her chest and starts gently bouncing it.
“Technically, the one Owen has is punishment for the dick party,” Bodhi says around a mouthful of candy. “Shepherd borrowed them from one of the teachers at the high school for that parenting class the kids take. Wren wanted to teach Owen about responsibility and consequences of making poor choices or some shit; I don’t know. I don’t get it. I think they just did it because it’s funny as hell watching the poor kid freak out every time he can’t get the baby to do something. I figured I should have one as well in solidarity, since I attended the dick party.”
“Now, we just have two boys running around the island, freaking out with fake babies,” Laura says with a roll of her eyes, which I’m happy isn’t aimed at me for once.
Bodhi tips the bag of candy back into his mouth and finishes it off. “I thought it would be good practice for me, but that thing never shuts up. Real babies aren’t like that, right? They don’t cry all the time, do they?”
Laura just reaches up and pats Bodhi’s cheek that’s puffed out with candy.
“Of course they don’t, sweetie,” she reassures him, then nodding and mouthing to me “yes, they do” when he turns his back, making me cough to cover up a laugh.
Laura’s cell phone on the counter dings a few times with incoming texts. Since it’s right next to where my hand is resting, I can clearly see Birdie’s name pop up with a string of frantic texts, all of them freaking out about the rain and the possibility of having to cancel movie night on the beach later. Followed by three texts from Owen begging for her help with his fake baby, because his parents just keep laughing at him when he asks them.
“You wanna handle Birdie, and I’ll handle the babies?”
The words are out of my mouth before I even think about it.
Laura just blinks at me a few times, and I wonder if I went too far and now is when she’s going to realize she’s not the type of person who asks for help or accepts it when it’s offered. I hold my breath, but she just shrugs, handing me the fake baby that starts wailing again as soon as it’s in my hands.
“Deal. See you back here in two hours.”
She turns away from me and picks up her phone, immediately calling Birdie. While I try to figure out what the fuck to do with two fake babies, when I’ve never even held a real baby. My asshole brother wouldn’t let me anywhere near Palmer until he could walk and talk, and he was certain I wouldn’t drop him.
“Come on,” I tell Bodhi with a jerk of my head. “Let’s go find Owen.”
Laura laughs at me as I start heading to the door with Bodhi following, and I think she’s enjoying this a little too much. My arms are stretched out in front of me with my elbows locked, holding the stupid doll like it’s the antichrist and I’m afraid to get too close. Which it is… and I am.
But I don’t care. Because if I close my eyes, I can pretend that this is my life. Stopping by my woman’s ice cream stand to bring her coffee, get a little sugar from her, and help her out with whatever crisis is currently happening. It feels right. And I never want it to end.
“Careful,” Bodhi warns from over my shoulder as we round the corner. “That thing shits too. It’s just chocolate pudding, and it’s delicious, but it’s still kind of gross. I won’t be able to eat my own baby’s shit, so that’s not really an accurate representation of parenting if you ask me.”
Okay, this part can end any time now.
Chapter 17
“Who hurt you???”
Laura: How’s it going with the babies?
Dean: Perfectly fine. Haven’t heard a peep out of them in an hour.
Laura: You locked them in a closet somewhere far away, didn’t you?
