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But I couldn’t really go through with this, no matter how much it turned me on. There was no way. I’d just send Lark a message letting him know something came up—ha, poor choice of words—and of course I’d tell him to keep the money. Then I’d jerk off by myself and be done with it.
Just then, a message popped up on my screen: Lark has invited you to a private chat. Shit, he was early. I clicked the “accept” button with the intention of telling him I couldn’t stay. But before I could type a word, Lark’s camera went live and he exclaimed, “Hi, Hawk! Ugh, I’m so nervous! This is my first ever one-on-one cam session, and I really hope I don’t screw it up. But if I do, don’t worry. I’ll definitely refund your money.”
Somehow, knowing I wasn’t the only one who was nervous made this easier. I forgot about bailing out as I leaned against my headboard and exhaled slowly.
The camera was pointed at a mountain of mismatched pillows on a bed. There was even a stuffed toy goat peeking out among them. The lighting got brighter, and I could hear Lark moving stuff around as he said, “Sorry, I’m not quite ready. I shouldn’t have started the chat until I was all set up, but I didn’t want to keep you waiting.”
There was a thudding sound, and the light source swung around as he muttered, “Ow, I just stubbed my toe.” He adjusted the light’s angle as he told me, “So, you have two options on your end. You can type into a chat box like before, or you can click the little microphone in the bottom corner and talk to me. Your call, do whatever makes you comfortable. It doesn’t let you turn on your camera though, so I won’t be able to see you.” That made sense. The name of this site was a play on the word “gaze” after all, so of course it was set up like a fishbowl.
I clicked the microphone and asked, “Can you hear me?”
“I can, loud and clear! Wow, you have a great voice. It’s so deep and buttery. I don’t know if buttery makes sense, but that’s just what came to mind.” I could tell he really was nervous. He was speaking a lot faster than he had in the group chat, and he was sort of rambling, not that I minded.
“Thanks. One of my friends is always telling me I missed my calling and should have been a DJ on a mellow R and B radio station.”
A phone in a glittery case landed on the bed, and the light source shifted again. “They’re right.” Lark lowered his voice to imitate mine and said, “This is The Hawk, coming to you live from one-oh-one-point-one FM, K-O-O-L radio, where we’re in the middle of a forty-eight-hour Otis Redding marathon. All Otis, all the time.” In his regular tone of voice, he added, “And of course, every time you said your name, you’d play a sound bite of a screeching hawk, ca-caw!”
I chuckled and told him, “It sounds like you could do that job just as well as I could.”
“But I’m just faking it. Your voice is the real deal, all that velvety goodness.” The camera swung around wildly, and then Lark’s smiling face appeared on the screen. He’d washed off his dark eye makeup, and his hair was held back from his face by a white headband with bunny ears sticking from it. His smile got wider as he said, “Anyway, hi there.”
“Hi.” I was smiling too, not that he could see it.
As he settled back against the pillows, he said, “So, two things. First of all, I really went for it with tonight’s outfit. It’s probably the most daring thing I’ve ever worn on cam, so I need to work my way up to showing you.”
“No pressure. Do whatever makes you comfortable.” He was shirtless, and I had to wonder what was happening out of the shot. I’d already seen him in a very revealing jock strap, so what would be more daring than that? After a beat, I asked, “So, what was the second thing you wanted to tell me?”
“Oh, right. So, I’d been thinking about the best way to do a private cam session for the last few days, and my roommate’s brother, who works in a sex shop, had a really awesome idea.” Lark picked up his phone and tapped the screen with his thumb as he explained, “I ended up buying a vibrating butt plug that comes with an app. I wanted this to be interactive, so I thought, what if my viewer could control what the toy’s doing from wherever he is in the world?”
“There are sex toys that work like that?”
“More or less. Basically, if you install the app, it’ll communicate with my phone, and that’s what’ll actually control the toy. The phone has to be within about ten feet of the toy’s sensor, or it won’t work.”
“That makes sense.”
“Want to try it out?” He held up his phone to the camera and said, “Here’s the name of the app, and it’s a free download. But if this seems weird to you, we don’t have to do it. It was just an idea.”
“It actually sounds intriguing.” I picked up my phone and found what I was looking for in the app store. Then I told him, “Okay, it’s downloading.”
We took a couple of minutes to get our phones synched up, and then a silhouette of a butt plug with a curved, bulbous tip appeared on my screen. There was also a slider with a scale that went from zero to five, and a button labeled “pulse.” I asked, “Can you go get the toy so we can see if this works?” While I said that, I moved the slider from zero to two, then back to zero.
It startled me when Lark yelped and knocked over his laptop. When he picked it up and appeared on screen again, he laughed and said, “Yeah, that definitely worked.”
“Wait, is it—I mean, do you already have it, um…”
“It’s in my ass. Didn’t I mention that?”
“No. Sorry! I wouldn’t have done that if I’d realized you were already using it.”
He asked, “How high did you turn it?”
“Two.”
“Let’s maybe not turn it all the way to five,” he said with a grin. “Two was already intense. Also, I guess I should have tried this out beforehand, but I only bought it yesterday.”
“Are you sure you want to trust me with this?”
Lark held up his phone, and his grin widened as he reminded me, “I can cut you off with the tap of a button, any time I want to. Not that you seem like someone who’d try to kill me with a ten-minute-long orgasm or anything.”
