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“Don’t know what happened to him, not asking—yet. But moving to Callum’s farm isn’t happening,” he said quietly.
I turned away from him as tears teetered on the rims of my eyes. That’s how I felt. Like I was teetering. Ready to fall at any second.
I wouldn’t fall apart. I didn’t fall apart.
Then why did I suddenly feel like collapsing on the floor and bawling my eyes out? It felt as if all the emotions I’d kept contained for the last several months—no, for the last seven years—were erupting and I was about to disintegrate.
I could do this. I didn’t fall apart. I wasn’t that person. I survived. Jackson survived.
I didn’t break.
His warm breath wafted across the back of my neck, and sparks burst in its wake. It felt like little elastic bands were being snapped all over my skin.
And then he touched my hip, and I shuddered. Oh God. All I wanted to do was lean back into his arms and have them wrap around me. To feel his strength. His protective warmth. To feel him.
I hadn’t had that from any man. My father was as cold as the ice he coveted. And Jackson’s father—he was worse. Much worse.
I shivered and my stomach twisted as my mind searched through the heavy fog. But it was endless. There was nothing. Only the laughter somewhere in the distance, and the smell. The sweetness. God, that smell.
Vic cupped my chin, pulling me from the fog. “Stay, Rainbird,” he whispered.
This. This was why we couldn’t stay.
Because I couldn’t breathe.
Because I wanted him.
Because wanting him was dangerous.
Because nothing could ever come of it.
Because I’d break and let him in.
Most importantly, Jackson would, too, and then Vic would leave, and I wouldn’t do that to my son.
Footsteps ran down the hall. “He’s not there,” Jackson said.
Vic’s hand dropped from my chin, and he squeezed my hip once before he let it fall away too.
I sucked in a lungful of air and stepped away from him, my legs trembling. I swallowed. “Okay. We’ll check outside.”
Jackson staggered. His face paled and his eyes widened. “But how could he get outside?”
“The door was propped open earlier when I was packing the car.”
Tears spilled from his eyes. “But he wasn’t supposed to get outside. He was supposed to stay here and hide for a while.”
Oh shit. No. I ran over and crouched in front of him. “What do you mean, Jacks?”
He choked on a sob.
“Jacks, I promise I won’t get mad. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ll never ever hurt you.”
He bit his lower lip so hard the pink flesh whitened. “I didn’t want to go,” he sobbed. “If we couldn’t find him for a little while, we could stay here. But… he… wasn’t supposed to… go outside.”
Oh God. Oh God. He let him out. He let him out so we wouldn’t leave the cabin. I collapsed onto the backs of my heels, my chest feeling as if I had a thousand-ton bulldozer sitting on it.
Don’t break. Don’t friggin’ break.
