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Attraction, it had to be. Love at first sight was a concept invented to sell movie tickets.
No, it wasn’t love. But it was an attraction I’d never experienced. His pheromones were causing some fucked-up chemical reaction in my body. That made sense.
I didn’t know how long it had been, with us just standing there, almost touching, staring at each other, not speaking. My knees were starting to shake, but no way in fuck would I break.
Something moved on Karson’s face as he seemed to realize this, his mouth turning up again once more in that impossibly sexy thing that wasn’t a smile.
“Understood, darlin’,” he said finally, his voice husky, a hint of twang curling around the endearment.
My skin prickled. I was well versed in being called all sorts of shit by men. The effect varied between being irritating to straight up patronizing. Never had it felt comforting or complimentary to me. I didn’t want a man to call me baby. Certainly not ‘darlin’.’
But it was an entirely different thing coming out of Karson’s mouth.
Something that knocked the wind out of me for a second, making me forget about the person I was. Or the role I played so very well.
For a second.
Then I regained my bearings.
“Now that’s over with,” I said, smiling. “This is going to happen,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his. His body was still, taut. I could feel the sexual tension rolling off of him. My knees were having a hard time keeping me vertical, and I was having a hard time remembering what in the actual fuck I was doing.
“By the looks of you, I’m sure you’re used to controlling anything and everything around you,” I continued, my voice breathy and my wits failing me. “Even women.” My eyes dragged themselves from his, flickering down his body. My own responded with pure hunger.
I ignored it.
With supreme effort.
“Especially women,” I added, my eyes meeting his once more. I reached up to adjust his collar, careful not to brush his skin because I knew my resolve would waver if I did. “The thing is, darlin’, I’m not like any woman you’ve ever met. I’m not something you can control, I’m not like anything you’ve ever experienced. So just hold on and enjoy the ride.” I went up on my tiptoes so my lips brushed against his once more. I breathed in the scent of him, woodsy, spicy, deep and rich with that fresh hint of lemon. And then I stepped back, locked my eyes on his for a moment longer before I turned on my heel and walked away.
He watched me the whole time.
I could feel his stare burning into my back. And then I damn near crashed into his car, trying to get out of the driveaway because I couldn’t keep my eyes off the man on the porch of the cottage, surrounded by flowers, standing like a statue staring at me.
I managed. Barely.
And I made it less than three miles before I pulled over to the side of the road to make myself come. Quickly, efficiently, and not with the release I needed. But enough so I wouldn’t cause a wreck on the drive home.
Thinking back on that first night, the night we really began, I cannot believe that I had no idea of the destruction that would follow. If I had, would I have done anything different?
The romantic part of me said no, I wouldn’t. I would go through all the pain, the unmitigated devastation just so I could know him. Know me when I belonged to him.
Know us.
But the resentful, ugly and truthful part of me knew the answer.
I would have ran from him.
Ran for my fucking life.
Even though he would’ve chased me down.
Destruction was inevitable.
But I didn’t know that at the time.
CHAPTER TWO
First Day of My Life – Bright Eyes
