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Holy shit. He didn’t get it. He was never going to get it. There would never be a breakthrough with him. Never be a moment where he had an epiphany and changed. He would never understand the way I felt about her, or this sport, or my brothers.
There was no changing my dad or waiting for him to grow.
My only option was to grow myself.
“Not just a woman, Dad,” I said quietly. “The woman. And sure, maybe I’m distracted, but that’s because I’m so fucking lucky to have someone to be distracted over. David said it best—there’s life after hockey, and I choose Evie.”
Dad sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose as I saw Asher coming down the hallway with Coach McPherson. “There are a million women out there who will do a million different things for you, Maxim. A different one in every city. A different woman after every game. You’re a fucking NHL player—women will line up. Not one of them is worth risking everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve wanted.”
“Everything you’ve wanted,” I corrected him. “Did it ever once occur to you that I’d value a gold band on my left hand a hell of a lot more than that?” I pointed to his Stanley Cup ring. “Or that you’re the person sucking the joy out of hockey for me? That Evie was the only reason I’d started loving the ice again? And it’s not because she’s just some woman, Dad. It’s because I know that she’ll love me after the game whether I win or lose. Because she loves me for the guy I am out of the gear.” I shook my head, and my chest went so tight that I had to fight for my next breath. “She loves me like you’ve never been capable of.”
Dad swallowed, and for the first time in my life, I saw a flash of uncertainty in his eyes.
“Maxim?” Asher asked, standing at Sterling’s side.
“I want you to revoke his family pass,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on Dad.
“You don’t mean that!” Dad snapped, but there was fear in his voice.
“Yeah, I absolutely mean it.” I took a fortifying breath. “I will never again play hockey in any arena you’re sitting in. If I see you in the stands, I’ll walk off the ice.”
Silence reigned in the hallway for a tense minute.
“Sergei, I think you’d better hand over the pass.” Asher walked forward, holding out his hand.
“You can’t keep me out of the stands,” Dad seethed. “I’ll be there tonight. In the box I paid for, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Cool.” I shrugged. “Guess we’ll see what happens.”
Dad’s face turned a mottled shade of red. “And what about him?” He swung his hand toward David. “If you’re revoking your family pass, does he have to go, too?”
“Nah,” Sterling said. “He can have mine. London is here as staff, and my mom can’t make it tonight, so I have one. After all, we’re brothers.”
Dad ripped his pass off his neck and slapped it into Asher’s hand before stalking off down the hallway, his footsteps booming down the corridor.
“You okay?” Asher asked.
“No,” I answered honestly, walking past him to the locker room.
Sterling stared at me as we peeled off our gear, and I must have been putting off a vibe, because everyone gave me my space.
What the fuck was I doing here? Was I living out my dream or his? In five years, what would matter? That I won a Stanley Cup? Or that I let the only woman I’d ever loved—yes, loved—walk away? What would matter when I was forty? Fifty? Sixty?
Evie. Evie would matter. A ring wasn’t going to keep me warm at night. A ring wasn’t going to laugh at my horrible jokes, or look at me like I was the answer to every question. A ring wasn’t going to open her arms when I came home, or hold my hand when I got sick.
So, again, what the fuck was I doing here when what mattered was in Charleston?
I was already showered and in my street clothes by the time I looked up at Sterling.
He stared at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking, like he could see straight into my freaking brain. He turned around and took something out of his locker, then walked across the room to me.
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could say, because I wasn’t just risking my dream, but his.
“London rented a car. It’s the lot out back.” He held out a set of keys.
I took them. “I just…”
“I know.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “There is nothing in this world that I wouldn’t give up for London. Nothing. Love like that comes around once in a lifetime if we’re lucky, man, and from what I can see, she’s lucky for you in more ways than one. You just have to be strong enough to break the cycle. Maybe he made you a hockey player, but you’re your own man. Be that man.”
